Today, it has been raining and in the high 50s. One of the things I love about Cross Country is that we run in any weather. Well, not when the weather is actually dangerous (like lightening), and last I checked, getting wet does not cause humans to melt. So we ran today. It was a timed run (where the pace doesn't really matter at all), then some long striders (aka sprints. well, almost), then a few hill repeats. Thursdays are normally hard (ie fast) practices, so this was actually a nice compromise on a rainy day.
The reason why I'm blogging about this practice is because it was fun. Or at least, I had fun doing it. It is so much fun to jump in puddles. To get my shoes soaked. To get all muddy.
When we started our timed run, my group's agenda was rather split between having fun/avoiding work (or any actual running) and focusing on hammering out the workout as instructed in spite of the weather conditions. A difference in agenda that eventually led to a split in the group. And I was happily in the middle, running as much as the focused people, but having fun, seeking out big puddles to splash through. So I just wanted to write this down as a reminder to myself of how much fun I can have with the right attitude, even while getting done what needs to get done.
Plus, nature is just wonderful. That's another thing about Cross Country. I get to spend at least two hours of every day outdoors in a huge park. The other day, I was on another run, and I passed a tree changing colors. It was still green in parts, then some yellow, some orange, a lot of red. And I was able, while still running, to just be so thankful to God for creating Creation. This is an accomplishment to do while running because being thankful at that moment meant a lot of arm gesturing towards the heavens.
I've also been noticing when I drive that the most beautiful and welcoming neighborhoods are the ones with huge trees growing every 30 feet. The more nature is left untouched, the more beauty can be found.
I road my bike yesterday to school and back home, which is about 6 or 7 miles. It took about 45 minutes. And I really like the pace of life that riding a bike requires. Or walking, or riding a bus. I think technology that makes everything fast and easy takes away so many opportunities to slow down and appreciate the life that is going on around you, whereas simpler modes of transportation or of eating or of doing any mundane activity forces you to slow down and take life in.
This post is the fulfillment of a habit I said I would like to start of keeping track of things that have an influence on me. Hopefully there will be more to come, if school allows. Speaking of school, that post several days ago was me needing to vent. But I have realized that my values have changed with relation to school. Getting straight A's is no longer something of absolute importance to me. I'm much more interested in having what I learn guide me to a better way of living. With a value shift comes a shift in priorities, and apparently, a shift in grades. School is a great thing. Education is certainly a very valuable thing to work towards. But the mind and all I have learned will eventually fade with my memory. My soul on the other hand, is eternal. My efforts to maintain and improve each should be distributed accordingly. I just wanted to tone down my raging of my school/idol post now that exam week has afforded me a clearer head and ample time to reopen communication with God. Thanks for your prayers.
Have fun; slow down; splash in puddles.
Thursday, October 14
Saturday, October 9
Hope Against Darkness, et al.
I recently finished reading a book for my theology class, entitled Hope Against Darkness, The Transforming Vision of Saint Francis in an Age of Anxiety, by Richard Rohr, and it was a very good book for me to have read. I learned a lot of new concepts from the book. I just wanted to name a few important ones.
There were a couple of things that paralleled things that I had already come to realize. Rohr describes two basic ways of behavior: fight or flight. He suggests that there is a third way (the way Jesus exemplifies) called compassionate knowing. This seems to me to be very similar to the idea behind my "man of peace" blog. He also said that "the best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better," which of course goes right along with the "world transformation through self transformation" thought I've discussed before. So that was cool.
But he also challenged me to growth in a very important way. One of the topics that he came back to several times throughout the book was that both liberals and conservatives are flawed in their worldviews. Obviously, his critique on liberals is what had an effect on me. He described how liberals, while very accepting of the broadness of humanity, have trouble acknowledging the vertical dimension of God. This translates to my experience because of my inclination to think in terms of social justice, often without the openness to God through prayer (which I do desire) to go along with it. (and conservatives exhibit the opposite phenomenon, if you were wondering) He also pointed out how critical liberals are of society, esp. authority figures. It just gave me something to think about. How critical am I? Of whom? I think I want to break that habit of being overly critical/sarcastic.
I also went to a Social Justice Night at SLU a couple weeks ago where Jim Wallis spoke on the topic of religion and politics. He stressed that God is not a republican or a democrat. I might post more on what I learned from that night later, but basically I am feeling challenged/called to not define myself so much as a liberal. I need to look at each issue separately, but through the lens of my faith, more than any political group. Most of my opinions will probably still end up being generally liberal, though.
Also, in theology class, I learned something new about Jesus. We read the first chapter of Meeting Jesus Again, a book I now want to read the rest of. It reinforces the human nature of Jesus. I had never fully realized or accepted how much Jesus limited himself when He became Incarnate. That he wasn't aware that he was the Messiah. It is still a very new perspective for me, so I have to reflect on it more before I can write more on it.
I also read an article about the celibacy of the clergy (reading ahead in theology class). It described how this vow allows a priest or sister to reform and redirect their sexuality so that when relating with other people, they are able to take a genuine and complete interest in that person in a very unarming, comforting, and loving way. So that led me to, one, appreciate the vow of celibacy a lot more, and two, reevaluate my own chastity (which I see as a single layperson's celibacy) to see how I can try to develop and grow in my ability to relate to people in this way. And that wouldn't have to end with marriage.
Speaking of vocations, with the hecticness of the schoolyear and with what I've been studying in my Modern Euro class about Protestantism, I am realizing that I need to gain a better understanding of the fundamental function and purpose of a priest before I can consider the priesthood. So I'll be working to educate myself. Pray for me as I go through these faith-strengthening doubts!
There were a couple of things that paralleled things that I had already come to realize. Rohr describes two basic ways of behavior: fight or flight. He suggests that there is a third way (the way Jesus exemplifies) called compassionate knowing. This seems to me to be very similar to the idea behind my "man of peace" blog. He also said that "the best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better," which of course goes right along with the "world transformation through self transformation" thought I've discussed before. So that was cool.
But he also challenged me to growth in a very important way. One of the topics that he came back to several times throughout the book was that both liberals and conservatives are flawed in their worldviews. Obviously, his critique on liberals is what had an effect on me. He described how liberals, while very accepting of the broadness of humanity, have trouble acknowledging the vertical dimension of God. This translates to my experience because of my inclination to think in terms of social justice, often without the openness to God through prayer (which I do desire) to go along with it. (and conservatives exhibit the opposite phenomenon, if you were wondering) He also pointed out how critical liberals are of society, esp. authority figures. It just gave me something to think about. How critical am I? Of whom? I think I want to break that habit of being overly critical/sarcastic.
I also went to a Social Justice Night at SLU a couple weeks ago where Jim Wallis spoke on the topic of religion and politics. He stressed that God is not a republican or a democrat. I might post more on what I learned from that night later, but basically I am feeling challenged/called to not define myself so much as a liberal. I need to look at each issue separately, but through the lens of my faith, more than any political group. Most of my opinions will probably still end up being generally liberal, though.
Also, in theology class, I learned something new about Jesus. We read the first chapter of Meeting Jesus Again, a book I now want to read the rest of. It reinforces the human nature of Jesus. I had never fully realized or accepted how much Jesus limited himself when He became Incarnate. That he wasn't aware that he was the Messiah. It is still a very new perspective for me, so I have to reflect on it more before I can write more on it.
I also read an article about the celibacy of the clergy (reading ahead in theology class). It described how this vow allows a priest or sister to reform and redirect their sexuality so that when relating with other people, they are able to take a genuine and complete interest in that person in a very unarming, comforting, and loving way. So that led me to, one, appreciate the vow of celibacy a lot more, and two, reevaluate my own chastity (which I see as a single layperson's celibacy) to see how I can try to develop and grow in my ability to relate to people in this way. And that wouldn't have to end with marriage.
Speaking of vocations, with the hecticness of the schoolyear and with what I've been studying in my Modern Euro class about Protestantism, I am realizing that I need to gain a better understanding of the fundamental function and purpose of a priest before I can consider the priesthood. So I'll be working to educate myself. Pray for me as I go through these faith-strengthening doubts!
changes to internet identity
For anyone who does not yet realize, I have changed my email from peace.mon(at)juno.com to tomcampbell.manofpeace(at)gmail.com. Juno was going to try to make me pay for the service I use. Also, I was getting tired of the mispelling of "man" in order to synthesis a Jamaican dialect.
I also recently (ie just now) changed my AIM screenname from sluhguy86 to pacis vir (I realize this particular announcement only affects approximately 3 readers of this blog). Pacis vir is latin for man of peace. It wasn't my first choice, but a whole lot of screennames are already taken. To name a few: "vir pacis" "man of peace" "pax et bonum" "peace and all good" "go in peace" "tom campbell" (I had to try). So for the three or four of you out there that both read this blog and use AIM, be sure to switch my sn to pacis vir. This change is basically because I am trying to define my identity less on the institutions and other various groups of humans with which I'm involved, focusing more on the bigger picture: universal concerns, God. I just realized this action also goes well with my last post. Not consciously intentional.
I also recently (ie just now) changed my AIM screenname from sluhguy86 to pacis vir (I realize this particular announcement only affects approximately 3 readers of this blog). Pacis vir is latin for man of peace. It wasn't my first choice, but a whole lot of screennames are already taken. To name a few: "vir pacis" "man of peace" "pax et bonum" "peace and all good" "go in peace" "tom campbell" (I had to try). So for the three or four of you out there that both read this blog and use AIM, be sure to switch my sn to pacis vir. This change is basically because I am trying to define my identity less on the institutions and other various groups of humans with which I'm involved, focusing more on the bigger picture: universal concerns, God. I just realized this action also goes well with my last post. Not consciously intentional.
My education: a form of idolatry?
I'm now nearing the end of the first quarter of the school year. And I'm having some trouble appreciating the education I'm getting. Or supposed to be getting, if I weren't sleep-deprived.
That's right, Tom Campbell is struggling with school. Well, two classes in particular, but I see a broader problem in the system. The reason that I've been struggling in these two classes (Shakespeare and AP Modern European History, if you were wondering) is that I procrastinate.
And I procrastinate in order to overcome my perfectionism (if I wait until the last minute, I am finally able to let go of my expectation of perfection. I know; I'm sick. It's definitely a habit I want to break). But that is a separate issue.
I put off the homework by doing the things that I actually want to be doing. (This most affects these two classes because the assignments are long term or without a definite due date, allowing me to procrastinate the most on these assignments.) This is stuff like reading and writing emails (to continue to maintain and develop friendships), reading, blogging/reflecting/pondering. I also spend a lot of time on my theology homework because I enjoy and get the most out of that class. I feel that that class is the most relevant to my life, so I do that homework first, I spend more time doing it, and I even read ahead because I find the material so interesting/relevant.
I also on occasion have to spend more than the usual amount of time focusing on physical needs. With being in the midst of my Cross Country season, my body needs this attention. Some nights, especially after a hard workout, I simply need to nap before I could possibly do homework. Or sometimes I sense that I haven't been getting enough (or have been burning too many, via running) calories, so I have to spend more time snacking and eating dinner.
My question is, why should I not be able to do all of these other things that are important and/or necessary and also be able to do all of my homework? The problem I see with this system of education is a simple one. Too much "learning" or material to cover is being demanded in too small of a time. I should be able to go to school, participate in cocurricular activites, do all of my homework, do other things that are important to my growth as a person that are outside of school, AND get a full night of sleep.
School crams as much education as possible into the nine months of the school year, and then we have 3 months of summer in which nothing is demanded of my brain. I suppose I'm recognizing the benefits of a year-round school calendar. I know I could use the three months of summer much more productively than I have in the past. But I have a problem with internal motivation. It's another good habit that I need to develop. Perhaps I'm just having a major problem with time management. I do admit that I am guilty of misusing some of my time and that is a part of my problem. But I don't see the things I've named above as a misuse of time, and therefore, I don't see why I have to struggle to fit them in.
A couple weeks ago, realizing how badly I was doing in a few of my classes, I gave in and stopped trying to keep up with these other important things in order to completely focus on my schoolwork and try to salvage the quarter. Is that what is expected of me: to give all of my attention and energy to school? Without the extra time that I would like to spend on theology class, I have to admit that I have no time or energy to devote to any kind of prayer life or to developing my relationship with God. I missed going to daily mass every day this past week. And when I'm falling asleep of exhaustion before I've even finished all of my homework, there's no way that I could pray at the end of my day. Something is seriously wrong when I have to make my education a god.
I will be working to correct the things that I am doing wrong on my part, but I expect more than that is needed. I ask that you pray for me, that I have enough time to pray.
That's right, Tom Campbell is struggling with school. Well, two classes in particular, but I see a broader problem in the system. The reason that I've been struggling in these two classes (Shakespeare and AP Modern European History, if you were wondering) is that I procrastinate.
And I procrastinate in order to overcome my perfectionism (if I wait until the last minute, I am finally able to let go of my expectation of perfection. I know; I'm sick. It's definitely a habit I want to break). But that is a separate issue.
I put off the homework by doing the things that I actually want to be doing. (This most affects these two classes because the assignments are long term or without a definite due date, allowing me to procrastinate the most on these assignments.) This is stuff like reading and writing emails (to continue to maintain and develop friendships), reading, blogging/reflecting/pondering. I also spend a lot of time on my theology homework because I enjoy and get the most out of that class. I feel that that class is the most relevant to my life, so I do that homework first, I spend more time doing it, and I even read ahead because I find the material so interesting/relevant.
I also on occasion have to spend more than the usual amount of time focusing on physical needs. With being in the midst of my Cross Country season, my body needs this attention. Some nights, especially after a hard workout, I simply need to nap before I could possibly do homework. Or sometimes I sense that I haven't been getting enough (or have been burning too many, via running) calories, so I have to spend more time snacking and eating dinner.
My question is, why should I not be able to do all of these other things that are important and/or necessary and also be able to do all of my homework? The problem I see with this system of education is a simple one. Too much "learning" or material to cover is being demanded in too small of a time. I should be able to go to school, participate in cocurricular activites, do all of my homework, do other things that are important to my growth as a person that are outside of school, AND get a full night of sleep.
School crams as much education as possible into the nine months of the school year, and then we have 3 months of summer in which nothing is demanded of my brain. I suppose I'm recognizing the benefits of a year-round school calendar. I know I could use the three months of summer much more productively than I have in the past. But I have a problem with internal motivation. It's another good habit that I need to develop. Perhaps I'm just having a major problem with time management. I do admit that I am guilty of misusing some of my time and that is a part of my problem. But I don't see the things I've named above as a misuse of time, and therefore, I don't see why I have to struggle to fit them in.
A couple weeks ago, realizing how badly I was doing in a few of my classes, I gave in and stopped trying to keep up with these other important things in order to completely focus on my schoolwork and try to salvage the quarter. Is that what is expected of me: to give all of my attention and energy to school? Without the extra time that I would like to spend on theology class, I have to admit that I have no time or energy to devote to any kind of prayer life or to developing my relationship with God. I missed going to daily mass every day this past week. And when I'm falling asleep of exhaustion before I've even finished all of my homework, there's no way that I could pray at the end of my day. Something is seriously wrong when I have to make my education a god.
I will be working to correct the things that I am doing wrong on my part, but I expect more than that is needed. I ask that you pray for me, that I have enough time to pray.
Friday, September 10
Good Habits
A good portion of the posts that I have in this blog deal with self-improvements, basically. I have developed a hobby of attempting to break bad habits and searching for good habits to practice instead.
I've stopped the bad habit of unhealthy eating (mostly) in favor of a vegetarian diet (albeit this is only one of many reasons for that change). I am currently working on breaking the habits of television-induced mindlessness and staying up way past my bedtime. I've recognized habits in my relating to others that need improvement. I've been continually working on good habits in my prayer life. There have been a good number of things besides these that I've also worked on. I won't name them here (because I'm too lazy-another habit to change), but it has been a good start.
But there is a whole lot more that I would like to change and a bunch of new things I would like to experience. There is a slew of thoughts running through my head, and I'm going to try to get them all down, so bear with me and the expected disorganized mess to follow.
I want to eventually ride my bike everywhere I go instead of driving a car. At least in normal weather conditions.
I want to foster a ravenous appetite for reading. There are so many great books that I want to read that I haven't. I just need to start. If I wait until I have enough time, it'll never happen. I really like looking through bookstores. I'd also like to learn to speedread.
I want to learn to cook really good vegetarian meals. I'd also like to eventually grow and keep a garden.
I want to learn and regularly practice tai chi and yoga and other meditative activities.
I want to blog on a more regular basis, including important goings-on from my daily life. I'd like to keep a better track on things and events that have an effect on me.
I want to continue to simplify my life. Eventually, I hope this leads to letting go of using/owning a personal computer (probably not practical if I grow up to have any sort of "real" job. A friend of mine would like to just work in his garden all day in place of any normal job. Sounds good to me. Update on career discernment: I am now considering three different paths with a somewhat equal amount of emphasis or attention. I've already named all three at some point in this blog, so it's more of a summary than an update. They are theology teacher, priest, and Catholic Worker (Karen House).) I want to cleanse myself of all unneeded possessions and then cleanse myself of all unneeded desires. When I purchase things, I would like to patronize small businesses as much as possible.
I want to learn to play the guitar. Of course, this requires reading music. Which I find very hard to do. Many things that are worthwhile learning are hard and require a whole lot of practice (reading, writing, typing, speedreading). So I'll have to just accept and tackle this hurdle.
I would like to explore and utilize holistic medicine (especially for this cough I have now). I'd like to be able to continue in my inablity to swallow pills. As much as possible, I want to limit fixing things with chemicals. Whenever I do have to remedy some illness, I want to look to nature first.
As I simplify, and when I build my home/dorm/room, I would like to extend my use of natural materials and use feng shui.
As you can tell, I have a deep appreciation for nature and natural beauty. I have trouble with artificial attempts at aesthetic quality. I don't like the whole concept of make-up. I could get onto a soapbox for this point, but basically, I think people spend too much time focusing on their appearance. I acknowledge that people need to maintain their bodies and should spend some time working to present themselves well. But in my opinion, people spend an excessive amount of time, energy, and money doing so. I also have a distaste for formal etiquette and manners. Again, I acknowledge that purposeful rudeness is to be avoided, but I don't think people should have to apologize because they had to burp or fart. I guess something I've been working on is trying to not be offended by things. I think the only occasion to be offended is when dealing with a sin. What does it matter if something bothers your ears or nose? It is what offends the soul that should cause a reaction.
There may be more that I want to say, but I have to go to bed. Basically, I've realized that I've developed a good habit of developing good habits. These good habits are directing me to have a good, healthy lifestyle. I believe if I'm moving in the right direction with regard to the way in which I live, I will more easily move in the right direction with regard to my soul (ie toward God). And ultimately, that is what I will be working on throughout my life.
I've stopped the bad habit of unhealthy eating (mostly) in favor of a vegetarian diet (albeit this is only one of many reasons for that change). I am currently working on breaking the habits of television-induced mindlessness and staying up way past my bedtime. I've recognized habits in my relating to others that need improvement. I've been continually working on good habits in my prayer life. There have been a good number of things besides these that I've also worked on. I won't name them here (because I'm too lazy-another habit to change), but it has been a good start.
But there is a whole lot more that I would like to change and a bunch of new things I would like to experience. There is a slew of thoughts running through my head, and I'm going to try to get them all down, so bear with me and the expected disorganized mess to follow.
I want to eventually ride my bike everywhere I go instead of driving a car. At least in normal weather conditions.
I want to foster a ravenous appetite for reading. There are so many great books that I want to read that I haven't. I just need to start. If I wait until I have enough time, it'll never happen. I really like looking through bookstores. I'd also like to learn to speedread.
I want to learn to cook really good vegetarian meals. I'd also like to eventually grow and keep a garden.
I want to learn and regularly practice tai chi and yoga and other meditative activities.
I want to blog on a more regular basis, including important goings-on from my daily life. I'd like to keep a better track on things and events that have an effect on me.
I want to continue to simplify my life. Eventually, I hope this leads to letting go of using/owning a personal computer (probably not practical if I grow up to have any sort of "real" job. A friend of mine would like to just work in his garden all day in place of any normal job. Sounds good to me. Update on career discernment: I am now considering three different paths with a somewhat equal amount of emphasis or attention. I've already named all three at some point in this blog, so it's more of a summary than an update. They are theology teacher, priest, and Catholic Worker (Karen House).) I want to cleanse myself of all unneeded possessions and then cleanse myself of all unneeded desires. When I purchase things, I would like to patronize small businesses as much as possible.
I want to learn to play the guitar. Of course, this requires reading music. Which I find very hard to do. Many things that are worthwhile learning are hard and require a whole lot of practice (reading, writing, typing, speedreading). So I'll have to just accept and tackle this hurdle.
I would like to explore and utilize holistic medicine (especially for this cough I have now). I'd like to be able to continue in my inablity to swallow pills. As much as possible, I want to limit fixing things with chemicals. Whenever I do have to remedy some illness, I want to look to nature first.
As I simplify, and when I build my home/dorm/room, I would like to extend my use of natural materials and use feng shui.
As you can tell, I have a deep appreciation for nature and natural beauty. I have trouble with artificial attempts at aesthetic quality. I don't like the whole concept of make-up. I could get onto a soapbox for this point, but basically, I think people spend too much time focusing on their appearance. I acknowledge that people need to maintain their bodies and should spend some time working to present themselves well. But in my opinion, people spend an excessive amount of time, energy, and money doing so. I also have a distaste for formal etiquette and manners. Again, I acknowledge that purposeful rudeness is to be avoided, but I don't think people should have to apologize because they had to burp or fart. I guess something I've been working on is trying to not be offended by things. I think the only occasion to be offended is when dealing with a sin. What does it matter if something bothers your ears or nose? It is what offends the soul that should cause a reaction.
There may be more that I want to say, but I have to go to bed. Basically, I've realized that I've developed a good habit of developing good habits. These good habits are directing me to have a good, healthy lifestyle. I believe if I'm moving in the right direction with regard to the way in which I live, I will more easily move in the right direction with regard to my soul (ie toward God). And ultimately, that is what I will be working on throughout my life.
Thursday, August 19
Patch Adams and Nathan inspire Tom
I've been pretty full of thoughts the past couple of days, and when I woke up this morning, I decided, hey, I think I'm moved again! I think I should change the name of this blog (or just develop a new nickname) to Tom the Turtle's blog. However, this is probably an insult to turtles who are all able to move faster than I can. And I can accept that. I'm slow. I have great thoughts; they just take forever to get out of my head. I'll get going with my topic now.
Giving, generosity, unselfishness, benevolence. So that's my topic.
My first thoughts came from a packet I got from my church's lenten workshop on prayer. In it is a description of the kind of prayer that is most beneficial as determined by one's personality type. So as a self described INFP, I need to pray alone most of the time. It also says I need to set aside an hour every day for prayer. I should read short Bible passages from 2nd Isaiah, Psalms, Gospels, and Pauline letters in order to find one or two verses that I can meditate on and use over and over. It says INFPs usually don't like formal prayers, but I'm enjoying saying the rosary every day. It is very calming and actually helps me to focus my prayer. I guess I like the rosary because I don't think of it as formal prayer but rather a chant that allows me to meditate. So obviously, if formal prayer isn't my thing, spontaneous prayers of thanksgiving, praise, and humility are great for me. I should also keep a journal to help record the inspirations God gives me (does this blog count? partially).
Ok, so all of that is about my prayer life (not about giving). And I wasn't really going anywhere with that, except that the last point in the article about INFPs states that "there is a real danger of the INFP becoming too introverted, too self-centered" and "INFPs must make a special effort every day to forget themselves and reach out to others. The INFP must not wait until whole and healed before reaching out to heal and help others. The INFP should begin his/her day with: 'What can I do today to make others happier and better for having met me?'"
So that got me thinking. Thinking about how much time I'm saying/writing/proclaiming that community service is my thing, that it's the best way to spend my time, that it is so awesome. And then thinking about how much time I actually do spend by doing community service. Yes, I do some. But not nearly enough. I hate being hypocritical, but I love catching myself in it and stopping it and growing because of it. So that's what I'll try to do.
Ok so fastforward a day (from having read the article). It's after youth group. Everyone is standing in the parking lot, talking, having fun. A man in his 60's, perspiring heavily, carrying a gas can, and followed by a bunch of children approaches us. He had ran out of gas and was asking for help. So I was going to walk over to the gas station with him and get him some gas, and that would be it. Then my friend (Nathan, who unfortunately, doesn't read anyone's blog, I don't think) called to wait up. That he would come with me. So I thought, ok, Nathan wants to make sure I'm safe. (for anyone reading this who doesn't know Nathan, he's strong) (and anyone reading this who doesn't know me, I'm not) But then as we walked, Nathan was just talking. First to me, just having fun. Then to the guy, trying to get to know him, asking how he's doing, what happened, where he's from. Nathan was easily able to connect with him as a human, whereas I would have been satisfied to have not talked with him at all, to just get the gas, seeing him as a problem to be fixed. And that's a depressing thought. Because I have great intentions to help people, but I'm not good at it at all when I try to. And I admire Nathan for his ability to look past the problem to the person. And act accordingly.
I have a question to pose to everyone. What do you do when someone, such as this man, asks for money? Personally, I decide on a case by case basis. But I need to have input from minds wiser than my own. (so please comment)
Then once I got home (and by home I mean dogsitting), I watched Patch Adams. And that was great. That movie can inspire greatness, let my tell you.
So I just want to be working on, first, making an effort to give a whole lot more each day, and second, connecting with people in a fuller way. To see everyone as both a patient and a doctor (as Patch does). To let my guard down, have fun, be goofy, and have a positive effect on people.
Lately, I feel like I've been taking life way too seriously. And that needs to stop. Because if life is too serious, then there is no life.
Laugh with people. Cry with people. Have compassion. And be generous.
Giving, generosity, unselfishness, benevolence. So that's my topic.
My first thoughts came from a packet I got from my church's lenten workshop on prayer. In it is a description of the kind of prayer that is most beneficial as determined by one's personality type. So as a self described INFP, I need to pray alone most of the time. It also says I need to set aside an hour every day for prayer. I should read short Bible passages from 2nd Isaiah, Psalms, Gospels, and Pauline letters in order to find one or two verses that I can meditate on and use over and over. It says INFPs usually don't like formal prayers, but I'm enjoying saying the rosary every day. It is very calming and actually helps me to focus my prayer. I guess I like the rosary because I don't think of it as formal prayer but rather a chant that allows me to meditate. So obviously, if formal prayer isn't my thing, spontaneous prayers of thanksgiving, praise, and humility are great for me. I should also keep a journal to help record the inspirations God gives me (does this blog count? partially).
Ok, so all of that is about my prayer life (not about giving). And I wasn't really going anywhere with that, except that the last point in the article about INFPs states that "there is a real danger of the INFP becoming too introverted, too self-centered" and "INFPs must make a special effort every day to forget themselves and reach out to others. The INFP must not wait until whole and healed before reaching out to heal and help others. The INFP should begin his/her day with: 'What can I do today to make others happier and better for having met me?'"
So that got me thinking. Thinking about how much time I'm saying/writing/proclaiming that community service is my thing, that it's the best way to spend my time, that it is so awesome. And then thinking about how much time I actually do spend by doing community service. Yes, I do some. But not nearly enough. I hate being hypocritical, but I love catching myself in it and stopping it and growing because of it. So that's what I'll try to do.
Ok so fastforward a day (from having read the article). It's after youth group. Everyone is standing in the parking lot, talking, having fun. A man in his 60's, perspiring heavily, carrying a gas can, and followed by a bunch of children approaches us. He had ran out of gas and was asking for help. So I was going to walk over to the gas station with him and get him some gas, and that would be it. Then my friend (Nathan, who unfortunately, doesn't read anyone's blog, I don't think) called to wait up. That he would come with me. So I thought, ok, Nathan wants to make sure I'm safe. (for anyone reading this who doesn't know Nathan, he's strong) (and anyone reading this who doesn't know me, I'm not) But then as we walked, Nathan was just talking. First to me, just having fun. Then to the guy, trying to get to know him, asking how he's doing, what happened, where he's from. Nathan was easily able to connect with him as a human, whereas I would have been satisfied to have not talked with him at all, to just get the gas, seeing him as a problem to be fixed. And that's a depressing thought. Because I have great intentions to help people, but I'm not good at it at all when I try to. And I admire Nathan for his ability to look past the problem to the person. And act accordingly.
I have a question to pose to everyone. What do you do when someone, such as this man, asks for money? Personally, I decide on a case by case basis. But I need to have input from minds wiser than my own. (so please comment)
Then once I got home (and by home I mean dogsitting), I watched Patch Adams. And that was great. That movie can inspire greatness, let my tell you.
So I just want to be working on, first, making an effort to give a whole lot more each day, and second, connecting with people in a fuller way. To see everyone as both a patient and a doctor (as Patch does). To let my guard down, have fun, be goofy, and have a positive effect on people.
Lately, I feel like I've been taking life way too seriously. And that needs to stop. Because if life is too serious, then there is no life.
Laugh with people. Cry with people. Have compassion. And be generous.
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