A good portion of the posts that I have in this blog deal with self-improvements, basically. I have developed a hobby of attempting to break bad habits and searching for good habits to practice instead.
I've stopped the bad habit of unhealthy eating (mostly) in favor of a vegetarian diet (albeit this is only one of many reasons for that change). I am currently working on breaking the habits of television-induced mindlessness and staying up way past my bedtime. I've recognized habits in my relating to others that need improvement. I've been continually working on good habits in my prayer life. There have been a good number of things besides these that I've also worked on. I won't name them here (because I'm too lazy-another habit to change), but it has been a good start.
But there is a whole lot more that I would like to change and a bunch of new things I would like to experience. There is a slew of thoughts running through my head, and I'm going to try to get them all down, so bear with me and the expected disorganized mess to follow.
I want to eventually ride my bike everywhere I go instead of driving a car. At least in normal weather conditions.
I want to foster a ravenous appetite for reading. There are so many great books that I want to read that I haven't. I just need to start. If I wait until I have enough time, it'll never happen. I really like looking through bookstores. I'd also like to learn to speedread.
I want to learn to cook really good vegetarian meals. I'd also like to eventually grow and keep a garden.
I want to learn and regularly practice tai chi and yoga and other meditative activities.
I want to blog on a more regular basis, including important goings-on from my daily life. I'd like to keep a better track on things and events that have an effect on me.
I want to continue to simplify my life. Eventually, I hope this leads to letting go of using/owning a personal computer (probably not practical if I grow up to have any sort of "real" job. A friend of mine would like to just work in his garden all day in place of any normal job. Sounds good to me. Update on career discernment: I am now considering three different paths with a somewhat equal amount of emphasis or attention. I've already named all three at some point in this blog, so it's more of a summary than an update. They are theology teacher, priest, and Catholic Worker (Karen House).) I want to cleanse myself of all unneeded possessions and then cleanse myself of all unneeded desires. When I purchase things, I would like to patronize small businesses as much as possible.
I want to learn to play the guitar. Of course, this requires reading music. Which I find very hard to do. Many things that are worthwhile learning are hard and require a whole lot of practice (reading, writing, typing, speedreading). So I'll have to just accept and tackle this hurdle.
I would like to explore and utilize holistic medicine (especially for this cough I have now). I'd like to be able to continue in my inablity to swallow pills. As much as possible, I want to limit fixing things with chemicals. Whenever I do have to remedy some illness, I want to look to nature first.
As I simplify, and when I build my home/dorm/room, I would like to extend my use of natural materials and use feng shui.
As you can tell, I have a deep appreciation for nature and natural beauty. I have trouble with artificial attempts at aesthetic quality. I don't like the whole concept of make-up. I could get onto a soapbox for this point, but basically, I think people spend too much time focusing on their appearance. I acknowledge that people need to maintain their bodies and should spend some time working to present themselves well. But in my opinion, people spend an excessive amount of time, energy, and money doing so. I also have a distaste for formal etiquette and manners. Again, I acknowledge that purposeful rudeness is to be avoided, but I don't think people should have to apologize because they had to burp or fart. I guess something I've been working on is trying to not be offended by things. I think the only occasion to be offended is when dealing with a sin. What does it matter if something bothers your ears or nose? It is what offends the soul that should cause a reaction.
There may be more that I want to say, but I have to go to bed. Basically, I've realized that I've developed a good habit of developing good habits. These good habits are directing me to have a good, healthy lifestyle. I believe if I'm moving in the right direction with regard to the way in which I live, I will more easily move in the right direction with regard to my soul (ie toward God). And ultimately, that is what I will be working on throughout my life.
Friday, September 10
Thursday, August 19
Patch Adams and Nathan inspire Tom
I've been pretty full of thoughts the past couple of days, and when I woke up this morning, I decided, hey, I think I'm moved again! I think I should change the name of this blog (or just develop a new nickname) to Tom the Turtle's blog. However, this is probably an insult to turtles who are all able to move faster than I can. And I can accept that. I'm slow. I have great thoughts; they just take forever to get out of my head. I'll get going with my topic now.
Giving, generosity, unselfishness, benevolence. So that's my topic.
My first thoughts came from a packet I got from my church's lenten workshop on prayer. In it is a description of the kind of prayer that is most beneficial as determined by one's personality type. So as a self described INFP, I need to pray alone most of the time. It also says I need to set aside an hour every day for prayer. I should read short Bible passages from 2nd Isaiah, Psalms, Gospels, and Pauline letters in order to find one or two verses that I can meditate on and use over and over. It says INFPs usually don't like formal prayers, but I'm enjoying saying the rosary every day. It is very calming and actually helps me to focus my prayer. I guess I like the rosary because I don't think of it as formal prayer but rather a chant that allows me to meditate. So obviously, if formal prayer isn't my thing, spontaneous prayers of thanksgiving, praise, and humility are great for me. I should also keep a journal to help record the inspirations God gives me (does this blog count? partially).
Ok, so all of that is about my prayer life (not about giving). And I wasn't really going anywhere with that, except that the last point in the article about INFPs states that "there is a real danger of the INFP becoming too introverted, too self-centered" and "INFPs must make a special effort every day to forget themselves and reach out to others. The INFP must not wait until whole and healed before reaching out to heal and help others. The INFP should begin his/her day with: 'What can I do today to make others happier and better for having met me?'"
So that got me thinking. Thinking about how much time I'm saying/writing/proclaiming that community service is my thing, that it's the best way to spend my time, that it is so awesome. And then thinking about how much time I actually do spend by doing community service. Yes, I do some. But not nearly enough. I hate being hypocritical, but I love catching myself in it and stopping it and growing because of it. So that's what I'll try to do.
Ok so fastforward a day (from having read the article). It's after youth group. Everyone is standing in the parking lot, talking, having fun. A man in his 60's, perspiring heavily, carrying a gas can, and followed by a bunch of children approaches us. He had ran out of gas and was asking for help. So I was going to walk over to the gas station with him and get him some gas, and that would be it. Then my friend (Nathan, who unfortunately, doesn't read anyone's blog, I don't think) called to wait up. That he would come with me. So I thought, ok, Nathan wants to make sure I'm safe. (for anyone reading this who doesn't know Nathan, he's strong) (and anyone reading this who doesn't know me, I'm not) But then as we walked, Nathan was just talking. First to me, just having fun. Then to the guy, trying to get to know him, asking how he's doing, what happened, where he's from. Nathan was easily able to connect with him as a human, whereas I would have been satisfied to have not talked with him at all, to just get the gas, seeing him as a problem to be fixed. And that's a depressing thought. Because I have great intentions to help people, but I'm not good at it at all when I try to. And I admire Nathan for his ability to look past the problem to the person. And act accordingly.
I have a question to pose to everyone. What do you do when someone, such as this man, asks for money? Personally, I decide on a case by case basis. But I need to have input from minds wiser than my own. (so please comment)
Then once I got home (and by home I mean dogsitting), I watched Patch Adams. And that was great. That movie can inspire greatness, let my tell you.
So I just want to be working on, first, making an effort to give a whole lot more each day, and second, connecting with people in a fuller way. To see everyone as both a patient and a doctor (as Patch does). To let my guard down, have fun, be goofy, and have a positive effect on people.
Lately, I feel like I've been taking life way too seriously. And that needs to stop. Because if life is too serious, then there is no life.
Laugh with people. Cry with people. Have compassion. And be generous.
Giving, generosity, unselfishness, benevolence. So that's my topic.
My first thoughts came from a packet I got from my church's lenten workshop on prayer. In it is a description of the kind of prayer that is most beneficial as determined by one's personality type. So as a self described INFP, I need to pray alone most of the time. It also says I need to set aside an hour every day for prayer. I should read short Bible passages from 2nd Isaiah, Psalms, Gospels, and Pauline letters in order to find one or two verses that I can meditate on and use over and over. It says INFPs usually don't like formal prayers, but I'm enjoying saying the rosary every day. It is very calming and actually helps me to focus my prayer. I guess I like the rosary because I don't think of it as formal prayer but rather a chant that allows me to meditate. So obviously, if formal prayer isn't my thing, spontaneous prayers of thanksgiving, praise, and humility are great for me. I should also keep a journal to help record the inspirations God gives me (does this blog count? partially).
Ok, so all of that is about my prayer life (not about giving). And I wasn't really going anywhere with that, except that the last point in the article about INFPs states that "there is a real danger of the INFP becoming too introverted, too self-centered" and "INFPs must make a special effort every day to forget themselves and reach out to others. The INFP must not wait until whole and healed before reaching out to heal and help others. The INFP should begin his/her day with: 'What can I do today to make others happier and better for having met me?'"
So that got me thinking. Thinking about how much time I'm saying/writing/proclaiming that community service is my thing, that it's the best way to spend my time, that it is so awesome. And then thinking about how much time I actually do spend by doing community service. Yes, I do some. But not nearly enough. I hate being hypocritical, but I love catching myself in it and stopping it and growing because of it. So that's what I'll try to do.
Ok so fastforward a day (from having read the article). It's after youth group. Everyone is standing in the parking lot, talking, having fun. A man in his 60's, perspiring heavily, carrying a gas can, and followed by a bunch of children approaches us. He had ran out of gas and was asking for help. So I was going to walk over to the gas station with him and get him some gas, and that would be it. Then my friend (Nathan, who unfortunately, doesn't read anyone's blog, I don't think) called to wait up. That he would come with me. So I thought, ok, Nathan wants to make sure I'm safe. (for anyone reading this who doesn't know Nathan, he's strong) (and anyone reading this who doesn't know me, I'm not) But then as we walked, Nathan was just talking. First to me, just having fun. Then to the guy, trying to get to know him, asking how he's doing, what happened, where he's from. Nathan was easily able to connect with him as a human, whereas I would have been satisfied to have not talked with him at all, to just get the gas, seeing him as a problem to be fixed. And that's a depressing thought. Because I have great intentions to help people, but I'm not good at it at all when I try to. And I admire Nathan for his ability to look past the problem to the person. And act accordingly.
I have a question to pose to everyone. What do you do when someone, such as this man, asks for money? Personally, I decide on a case by case basis. But I need to have input from minds wiser than my own. (so please comment)
Then once I got home (and by home I mean dogsitting), I watched Patch Adams. And that was great. That movie can inspire greatness, let my tell you.
So I just want to be working on, first, making an effort to give a whole lot more each day, and second, connecting with people in a fuller way. To see everyone as both a patient and a doctor (as Patch does). To let my guard down, have fun, be goofy, and have a positive effect on people.
Lately, I feel like I've been taking life way too seriously. And that needs to stop. Because if life is too serious, then there is no life.
Laugh with people. Cry with people. Have compassion. And be generous.
Friday, July 30
Man of Peace
I came across a quote while surfing that really got me thinking about my attitudes about peace and how I should go about my activism. so watch out; block quote coming your way...
'A man of peace is not a pacifist, a man of peace is simply a pool of silence. He pulsates a new kind of energy into the world, he sings a new song. He lives in a totally new way his very way of live is that of grace, that of prayer, that of compassion. Whomsoever he touches, he creates more love-energy. The man of peace is creative. He is not against war, because to be against anything is to be at war. He is not against war, he simply understands why war exists. And out of that understanding he becomes peaceful. Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will the war disappear.'OSHO, from: 'Zen: The Path of Paradox, vol II'
After reading that, I realized how ironic it is to say that I want to "fight for peace" (a quote from my activism post). So peace is not something to fight for but rather to live out for myself. As the anonymous person who commented after my activism post said, the best way to change the world for the better is to change myself for the better ("World Transformation thru Self Transformation"). I'm already on that path, but now I have the right attitude to go along with it.
'A man of peace is not a pacifist, a man of peace is simply a pool of silence. He pulsates a new kind of energy into the world, he sings a new song. He lives in a totally new way his very way of live is that of grace, that of prayer, that of compassion. Whomsoever he touches, he creates more love-energy. The man of peace is creative. He is not against war, because to be against anything is to be at war. He is not against war, he simply understands why war exists. And out of that understanding he becomes peaceful. Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will the war disappear.'OSHO, from: 'Zen: The Path of Paradox, vol II'
After reading that, I realized how ironic it is to say that I want to "fight for peace" (a quote from my activism post). So peace is not something to fight for but rather to live out for myself. As the anonymous person who commented after my activism post said, the best way to change the world for the better is to change myself for the better ("World Transformation thru Self Transformation"). I'm already on that path, but now I have the right attitude to go along with it.
Micah House: why I am now excited about college
so in my last post about college, I stated a whole bunch of practical reasons why SLU would be the best school for me. it is good for the school that I want to attend to be the practical choice, but I don't think that just because it would be easiest for me to go to SLU (because of distance from home and cost) is a good enough reason to go there. But with having settled for the moment on SLU, I decided to do more research into what special programs are offered, and I discovered that SLU was not only practical, it was the school for me. This research I speak of is of the program called Micah House. Its basis is to connect all the areas of a student's life and direct it towards community service. Totally awesome. If you remember back to my post about majors and not feeling satisfied with the idea of a theology major, it was because I wanted what I would study to have a very practical application. I wanted it to be very clear to me how the ideas I would be learning could be immediately applied to affecting the community for the better. This is definitely what I was searching for. It is not a major; it may go along with my major of theology or education (or whatever is needed to be a theology teacher). The members of the program live together on campus, they take some of their classes together, and they serve together (30 hours per semester). It's all of the good parts of a fraternity with none of the bad. Not only will I still be able to go ahead with the theology major while participating in this program, but I will also still be able to work towards the honors degree. And while Micah House is a tight-knit group, they still encourage you to be active in any other areas of campus life that you are interested in (so it's not like it will dominate my college life). This program has single-handedly sold me on going to SLU. I've already started to fill out the application. Other school don't hardly appeal to me any more. And I don't anticipate my enthusiasm fading. I realize that there is a whole lot of time left before any final decisions have to be made (a lot of time to change my mind), but, honestly, this is what I have been looking for. And now I've found it.
"What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8
"What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8
Tuesday, July 27
political compass
just wanted to share an interesting site i found via surfing (actually from another blog that i like to read). the site is a political compass quiz that measures and describes your political views not only economically (left and right) but also socially (libertarian and authoritarian). i scored about a -3.00/-3.00, which you will understand if you take the test. but basically it measure the degrees to which i am left and libertarian. this puts me somewhere close to gandhi in political views as the site shows. there is another site with a shorter quiz here. it puts me in the category of a centrist, but leaning towards the left and libertarian side. ok, that is all for now. cuz its late. grrr.
college update: college trek accomplished
i have now visited all the colleges that im currently considering. first off, thanks to my family for making the trip happen. we flew out to providence, RI, where we picked up our one way rental car. drove up to boston: boston college. drove thru fordham in new york (saw statue of liberty and ground zero as well). walked around franciscan u. of steubenville. visited loyola chicago. and finally marquette in milwalkee. i had already visited slu and wash u back during spring break. i really liked bc except for its distance from home. frankie u. would be great spiritually, but it's too conservative for me. loyola and fordham are too urban for me. marquette is a lot like slu. so right now, slu is my first choice, bc is second, and marquette third. i stopped considering wash u bc its not jesuit (mission of education not directed by spiritual goals). and truman is a good school, but same prob as wash u plus not in a city.
so slu is my top choice right now because it is in st. louis. i am so connected to st. louis with the people that i love being here. my well being is somewhat reliant on being with people that i love. slu is obviously jesuit. something that has apparently become my main criterium for my college search. i have a great chance at receiving lots of financial aid from slu. the college credit that i have earned is accepted by slu. my favorite color is blue. these are a good number of reasons why slu is my first choice right now. just a sidenote: while my home is only 5 minutes from the campus, i would be planning to live on campus (its part of the college experience). and hopefully with financial aid, it will not be unnecessary money spent on my part.
during this trip, ive had ample time to think about things, and for a major, im thinking education with the intent of teaching high school theology. cuz at first i was thinking about the priesthood and homilies and that led me to consider the fact that im probably more able to teach in front of kids than preach in front of adults. so im excited about that thought. the other thing i like to think about as a career is to work at karen house. its part of the catholic worker movement (dorothy day and all) its houses families while they get back on their feet. and the people who run it also live there with the families. it is an awesome way to live out my drive to work for social justice. and to live out a life of physical poverty. the people who run it have very few possessions. their lives are very simple. that is definitely a goal of mine. to simplify my life. less is more. if i empty myself of possessions, God can fill me with grace. that said, i often feel like a hypocrit for wanting to buy things. my bday is coming up, and my family likes to know what i want in the way of gifts. so i have this list in my mind, and these items are completely unnecessary in the long run. the items themselves are contradictory. some are to have brand name things and some are to fight against brand names. ahhhhhh.
ok, i'll make this clearer by telling you my list. its short, dont worry. ok, aviator sunglasses. to look cool basically. something i dont normally care about and dont want to start caring about. the next is teva sandals (brand name alert) the idea is to have sandals that arent leather. but i can get unleather sandals at target. i guess my idea was that they would last for a long long time. but my original reason was because i liked the way they looked. so its a cool thing again. ug. my third is the antibrand name item. converse style sneakers that are made by unionized factories (not the converse brand) thats at www.nosweatapparel.com. but again, my desire for the shoes is not only to have them union made but also for the style. so after writing about it, i think the shoes would still be worthwhile purchases. and if i ever come across aviatiors that are cheap, there is no harm in having style in the spirit of fun. sigh. the material world sure does complicate things though. ok, well i started out talking about colleges and i took a tangent over this way. the tangent ended, so i think this blog is done.
so slu is my top choice right now because it is in st. louis. i am so connected to st. louis with the people that i love being here. my well being is somewhat reliant on being with people that i love. slu is obviously jesuit. something that has apparently become my main criterium for my college search. i have a great chance at receiving lots of financial aid from slu. the college credit that i have earned is accepted by slu. my favorite color is blue. these are a good number of reasons why slu is my first choice right now. just a sidenote: while my home is only 5 minutes from the campus, i would be planning to live on campus (its part of the college experience). and hopefully with financial aid, it will not be unnecessary money spent on my part.
during this trip, ive had ample time to think about things, and for a major, im thinking education with the intent of teaching high school theology. cuz at first i was thinking about the priesthood and homilies and that led me to consider the fact that im probably more able to teach in front of kids than preach in front of adults. so im excited about that thought. the other thing i like to think about as a career is to work at karen house. its part of the catholic worker movement (dorothy day and all) its houses families while they get back on their feet. and the people who run it also live there with the families. it is an awesome way to live out my drive to work for social justice. and to live out a life of physical poverty. the people who run it have very few possessions. their lives are very simple. that is definitely a goal of mine. to simplify my life. less is more. if i empty myself of possessions, God can fill me with grace. that said, i often feel like a hypocrit for wanting to buy things. my bday is coming up, and my family likes to know what i want in the way of gifts. so i have this list in my mind, and these items are completely unnecessary in the long run. the items themselves are contradictory. some are to have brand name things and some are to fight against brand names. ahhhhhh.
ok, i'll make this clearer by telling you my list. its short, dont worry. ok, aviator sunglasses. to look cool basically. something i dont normally care about and dont want to start caring about. the next is teva sandals (brand name alert) the idea is to have sandals that arent leather. but i can get unleather sandals at target. i guess my idea was that they would last for a long long time. but my original reason was because i liked the way they looked. so its a cool thing again. ug. my third is the antibrand name item. converse style sneakers that are made by unionized factories (not the converse brand) thats at www.nosweatapparel.com. but again, my desire for the shoes is not only to have them union made but also for the style. so after writing about it, i think the shoes would still be worthwhile purchases. and if i ever come across aviatiors that are cheap, there is no harm in having style in the spirit of fun. sigh. the material world sure does complicate things though. ok, well i started out talking about colleges and i took a tangent over this way. the tangent ended, so i think this blog is done.
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