Alas, I am being cajoled into conformity, and I must fill out this form to appease my oppressors (just kidding).
Four jobs you've had in your life: washing the dishes (chore), taking out the trash (chore), construction laborer for a summer, federal work study with the Manresa (Catholic Studies) Program at Saint Louis University.
Four movies you could watch over and over: Star Wars original trilogy (that counts as one), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Patch Adams.
Four places you've lived (as opposed to merely visited, as in two questions hence): womb, St. Louis (on Russell street), St. Louis (a couple blocks away on Oregon street), St. Louis (on campus at Saint Louis University)
Four TV shows you love to watch: I'd be lying if I didn't say that there have been too many tv shows to count that I loved to watch growing up. (such as Boy meets World, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Full House) But now, I can't really claim one, as I have stopped watching that screen. If I had access to cable, I would love to watch The Daily Show, however.
Four places you've been on vacation: Tybee Island (GA), New England, Copan (Honduras), San Francisco (CA)
Four websites you visit daily: gmail, facebook, and various blogs (which will count for two) including the bone, Things I still don't know, and Ran Prieur.
Four of your favorite foods: fresh oranges, peas (all varieties), beans (all varieties), rice
Four places you'd rather be: Northwestern US, Europe (as a vagabond), Yoro Honduras, here now
I don't have four people to pass the baton to (who would want me linking their blogs here, anyway), so let's just say that if you're reading this and you have a blog that you are personally obligated to carry on this meme.
Friday, December 23
State of the Village report
This is what I'm talking about when I say that I am/we are much richer and more educated than the majority of the world. When is enough enough?
If the world were a village of 1000 people:
584 would be Asians
123 would be Africans
95 would be East and West Europeans
84 Latin Americans
55 Soviets (still including for the moment Lithuanians, Latvians, Estonians, etc.)
52 North Americans
6 Australians and New Zealanders
The people of the village would have considerable difficulty communicating:
165 people would speak Mandarin
86 would speak English
83 Hindi/Urdu
64 Spanish
58 Russian
37 Arabic
That list accounts for the mother-tongues of only half the villagers. The other half speak (in descending order of frequency) Bengali, Portuguese, Indonesian, Japanese, German, French, and 200 other languages.
In the village there would be:
300 Christians (183 Catholics, 84 Protestants, 33 Orthodox)
175 Moslems
128 Hindus
55 Buddhists
47 Animists
210 all other religions (including atheists)
One-third (330) of the people in the village would be children. Half the children would be immunized against the preventable infectious diseases such as measles and polio.
Sixty of the thousand villagers would be over the age of 65.
Just under half of the married women would have access to and be using modern contraceptives.
Each year 28 babies would be born.
Each year 10 people would die, three of them for lack of food, one from cancer. Two of the deaths would be to babies born within the year.
One person in the village would be infected with the HIV virus; that person would most likely not yet have developed a full-blown case of AIDS.
With the 28 births and 10 deaths, the population of the village in the next year would be 1018.
In this thousand-person community, 200 people would receive three-fourths of the income; another 200 would receive only 2% of the income.
The village would have 6 acres of land per person, 6000 acres in all of which:
700 acres is cropland
1400 acres pasture
1900 acres woodland
2000 acres desert, tundra, pavement, and other wasteland.
The woodland would be declining rapidly; the wasteland increasing; the other land categories would be roughly stable. The village would allocate 83 percent of its fertilizer to 40 percent of its cropland -- that owned by the richest and best-fed 270 people. Excess fertilizer running off this land would cause pollution in lakes and wells. The remaining 60 percent of the land, with its 17 percent of the fertilizer, would produce 28 percent of the foodgrain and feed 73 percent of the people. The average grain yield on that land would be one-third the yields gotten by the richer villagers.
If the world were a village of 1000 persons, there would be five soldiers, seven teachers, one doctor. Of the village's total annual expenditures of just over $3 million per year, $181,000 would go for weapons and warfare, $159,000 for education, $132,000 for health care.
The village would have buried beneath it enough explosive power in nuclear weapons to blow itself to smithereens many times over. These weapons would be under the control of just 100 of the people. The other 900 people would be watching them with deep anxiety, wondering whether the 100 can learn to get along together, and if they do, whether they might set off the weapons anyway through inattention or technical bungling, and if they ever decide to dismantle the weapons, where in the village they will dispose of the dangerous radioactive materials of which the weapons are made.
In this 1000-person community:
800 would have substandard housing.
670 adults live in the community, and half of them would be illiterate.
500 would suffer from malnutrition.
330 would not have access to clean, safe drinking water.
240 people would not have any electricity.
Of the 76 who have electricity, most would use it only for light at night.
In the village would be 420 radios, 240 televisions, 140 telephones, and 70 computers.
(some villagers own more than one of each)
70 people would own an automobile (some of them more than one).
50 people would possess 32% of the entire village's wealth, and these would all be from the USA.
The poorest one-third of the village would receive only 3% of the income of the village.
The following is also something to ponder...
If you woke up this morning healthy, you are more blessed than the million that will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the fear and lonliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pain of starvation, you are better off than 500 million people in the world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are more comfortable than 75% of the people in this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If you can read this, you are more blessed than two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, it becomes both evident and vital that education, acceptance, and compassion are essential for the progress of humankind.
(from here and here)
edit (a couple hours later): to answer the question I pose at the beginning- unfortunately for us and the rest of the world, never.
If the world were a village of 1000 people:
584 would be Asians
123 would be Africans
95 would be East and West Europeans
84 Latin Americans
55 Soviets (still including for the moment Lithuanians, Latvians, Estonians, etc.)
52 North Americans
6 Australians and New Zealanders
The people of the village would have considerable difficulty communicating:
165 people would speak Mandarin
86 would speak English
83 Hindi/Urdu
64 Spanish
58 Russian
37 Arabic
That list accounts for the mother-tongues of only half the villagers. The other half speak (in descending order of frequency) Bengali, Portuguese, Indonesian, Japanese, German, French, and 200 other languages.
In the village there would be:
300 Christians (183 Catholics, 84 Protestants, 33 Orthodox)
175 Moslems
128 Hindus
55 Buddhists
47 Animists
210 all other religions (including atheists)
One-third (330) of the people in the village would be children. Half the children would be immunized against the preventable infectious diseases such as measles and polio.
Sixty of the thousand villagers would be over the age of 65.
Just under half of the married women would have access to and be using modern contraceptives.
Each year 28 babies would be born.
Each year 10 people would die, three of them for lack of food, one from cancer. Two of the deaths would be to babies born within the year.
One person in the village would be infected with the HIV virus; that person would most likely not yet have developed a full-blown case of AIDS.
With the 28 births and 10 deaths, the population of the village in the next year would be 1018.
In this thousand-person community, 200 people would receive three-fourths of the income; another 200 would receive only 2% of the income.
The village would have 6 acres of land per person, 6000 acres in all of which:
700 acres is cropland
1400 acres pasture
1900 acres woodland
2000 acres desert, tundra, pavement, and other wasteland.
The woodland would be declining rapidly; the wasteland increasing; the other land categories would be roughly stable. The village would allocate 83 percent of its fertilizer to 40 percent of its cropland -- that owned by the richest and best-fed 270 people. Excess fertilizer running off this land would cause pollution in lakes and wells. The remaining 60 percent of the land, with its 17 percent of the fertilizer, would produce 28 percent of the foodgrain and feed 73 percent of the people. The average grain yield on that land would be one-third the yields gotten by the richer villagers.
If the world were a village of 1000 persons, there would be five soldiers, seven teachers, one doctor. Of the village's total annual expenditures of just over $3 million per year, $181,000 would go for weapons and warfare, $159,000 for education, $132,000 for health care.
The village would have buried beneath it enough explosive power in nuclear weapons to blow itself to smithereens many times over. These weapons would be under the control of just 100 of the people. The other 900 people would be watching them with deep anxiety, wondering whether the 100 can learn to get along together, and if they do, whether they might set off the weapons anyway through inattention or technical bungling, and if they ever decide to dismantle the weapons, where in the village they will dispose of the dangerous radioactive materials of which the weapons are made.
In this 1000-person community:
800 would have substandard housing.
670 adults live in the community, and half of them would be illiterate.
500 would suffer from malnutrition.
330 would not have access to clean, safe drinking water.
240 people would not have any electricity.
Of the 76 who have electricity, most would use it only for light at night.
In the village would be 420 radios, 240 televisions, 140 telephones, and 70 computers.
(some villagers own more than one of each)
70 people would own an automobile (some of them more than one).
50 people would possess 32% of the entire village's wealth, and these would all be from the USA.
The poorest one-third of the village would receive only 3% of the income of the village.
The following is also something to ponder...
If you woke up this morning healthy, you are more blessed than the million that will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the fear and lonliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pain of starvation, you are better off than 500 million people in the world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are more comfortable than 75% of the people in this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If you can read this, you are more blessed than two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, it becomes both evident and vital that education, acceptance, and compassion are essential for the progress of humankind.
(from here and here)
edit (a couple hours later): to answer the question I pose at the beginning- unfortunately for us and the rest of the world, never.
quotes
These are all of the quotes I have on my facebook profile. I've collected them from various places- mostly other people's profiles. That said, some don't have sources, and some are probably attributed incorrectly, so I apologize in advance. I'll comment on some of them:
"the essential conditions of everything you do must be choice, love, passion."
-nadia boulanger
"life isn't about finding yourself. life is about creating yourself."
-george bernard shaw
"don't ask yourself what the world needs. ask what makes you come alive. the world needs people who are alive."
"do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
- ralph waldo emerson
"all human evil comes from this: man's inability to sit still in a room."
-pascal (although man seems rather adept to sitting still in a room that has a tv)
"i stand in awe of my body."
-thoreau
"the least of learning is done in the classrooms."
-thomas merton (quite similar to mark twain's "i try to not let my schooling get in the way of my education." I like it)
talk is cheap... it's the way we organize and use our lives every day that tells what we believe in.
- cesar chavez (this quote daily challenges me and humbles me, helping me to realize that I must still believe that I'm getting something out of college that is more worthwhile than what I'd be getting in the real world somehow)
"during times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-george orwell
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
we ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. actually, who are you not to be?
you are a child of god. your playing small doesn't serve the world. there's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
we were born to manifest the glory of god within us. it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."-nelson mandela ("saving the world" is an individual act, it is 6 billion individual acts. take responsibility for the part you play, because you're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, people need you)
"the various philosophers have only interpeted the world in different ways. the point, however, is to change it." (yessssssss. philosophy class this semester was complete bullshit. kind of the same idea is chavez. stop talking, start acting, that kind of thing.)
"moderacy in temper is always a virtue. moderacy in principle is always a vice." (this is directed to all moderates and other fencesitters out there who think the high road is the middle road. you can't be on a road when you're sitting on the fence. get off your fence and stand up for what you believe in. stop compromising. you of all people should be able to see that neither party is giving you what we need, so start taking it for yourself)
"those who do not move do not notice their chains." (this is why i like to remain sober and not-rich)
"emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind." -bob marley (ya mon)
"when i feed the hungry they call me a hero but when i ask why they are hungry they call me a communist." ~dorothy day (i've seen this attributed to someone else, but i don't remember who)
"we cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love." -mother teresa
"live simply so that others can simply live" ~gandhi (this is of course refering to materialistic simplicity. i don't really want to lead a simple life in any other way. that would be boring)
"we don't stop playing because we grow old; we
grow old because we stop playing." -george bernard shaw (snowball fight!)
"only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." -robert f. kennedy (this is the quote i attempted to use a while ago)
"it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like . . . it's too much. my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst, and then i remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it and it flows through me like rain and i can feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid, little life. you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure, but don't worry. you will someday." -lester, american beauty (i like to read this quote when i get stressed out. it is very soothing. i should go back and read power of now again. i think meister eckhart would approve of this quote).
________________
I've often momentarily been inspired to expand greatly upon one of these quotes, but I fail to get to writing whatever I am thinking quickly enough. So I may refer back to one of these quotes in the future. For now, I just wanted to share them with you.
"the essential conditions of everything you do must be choice, love, passion."
-nadia boulanger
"life isn't about finding yourself. life is about creating yourself."
-george bernard shaw
"don't ask yourself what the world needs. ask what makes you come alive. the world needs people who are alive."
"do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
- ralph waldo emerson
"all human evil comes from this: man's inability to sit still in a room."
-pascal (although man seems rather adept to sitting still in a room that has a tv)
"i stand in awe of my body."
-thoreau
"the least of learning is done in the classrooms."
-thomas merton (quite similar to mark twain's "i try to not let my schooling get in the way of my education." I like it)
talk is cheap... it's the way we organize and use our lives every day that tells what we believe in.
- cesar chavez (this quote daily challenges me and humbles me, helping me to realize that I must still believe that I'm getting something out of college that is more worthwhile than what I'd be getting in the real world somehow)
"during times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-george orwell
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
we ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. actually, who are you not to be?
you are a child of god. your playing small doesn't serve the world. there's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
we were born to manifest the glory of god within us. it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."-nelson mandela ("saving the world" is an individual act, it is 6 billion individual acts. take responsibility for the part you play, because you're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, people need you)
"the various philosophers have only interpeted the world in different ways. the point, however, is to change it." (yessssssss. philosophy class this semester was complete bullshit. kind of the same idea is chavez. stop talking, start acting, that kind of thing.)
"moderacy in temper is always a virtue. moderacy in principle is always a vice." (this is directed to all moderates and other fencesitters out there who think the high road is the middle road. you can't be on a road when you're sitting on the fence. get off your fence and stand up for what you believe in. stop compromising. you of all people should be able to see that neither party is giving you what we need, so start taking it for yourself)
"those who do not move do not notice their chains." (this is why i like to remain sober and not-rich)
"emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind." -bob marley (ya mon)
"when i feed the hungry they call me a hero but when i ask why they are hungry they call me a communist." ~dorothy day (i've seen this attributed to someone else, but i don't remember who)
"we cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love." -mother teresa
"live simply so that others can simply live" ~gandhi (this is of course refering to materialistic simplicity. i don't really want to lead a simple life in any other way. that would be boring)
"we don't stop playing because we grow old; we
grow old because we stop playing." -george bernard shaw (snowball fight!)
"only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." -robert f. kennedy (this is the quote i attempted to use a while ago)
"it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like . . . it's too much. my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst, and then i remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it and it flows through me like rain and i can feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid, little life. you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure, but don't worry. you will someday." -lester, american beauty (i like to read this quote when i get stressed out. it is very soothing. i should go back and read power of now again. i think meister eckhart would approve of this quote).
________________
I've often momentarily been inspired to expand greatly upon one of these quotes, but I fail to get to writing whatever I am thinking quickly enough. So I may refer back to one of these quotes in the future. For now, I just wanted to share them with you.
Beyond Civilization
Since my last post, I have read two more books by Daniel Quinn (can you tell that I'm out of school?), My Ishmael and Beyond Civilization. I've actually reached the bottom of that stack of books (with another to take its place, of course). My Ishmael, the sequel to Ishmael, was largely redundant, it seemed, except that it gave a happy ending for the plot line, and it also went into the actual purpose of school. Beyond Civilization attempted to give concrete answers as to where to go from the theory Quinn presents. It really ends up being a really good non-answer. Our civilization is based on the belief that there is only one right way to live, and this is it (it just doesn't work because we are all flawed and need to be improved somehow before it'll work perfectly, as it's designed to). His response or answer or non-answer is that there is no one right way for people to live. It is the very fact that everyone is living the same way now, as opposed to a diversity of ways, that makes what we are doing unsustainable, forcing ourselves into one big unnatural niche in the environment instead of the millions of niches available (and sustainable) in each person's particular location (local, not global). So he proposes one way that evolution has shown to be effective in the past (just 10,000 years ago, having been developed over the 3 millions years we've been on this earth), and that way is the tribe. It is a way that accepts people as they are, acceeding to their imperfections. The old tribes he is looking to as models were ethnic closed tribes, whose existence focused around cooperating to make a living through a diversity of ways (foraging, hunting, various levels of agriculture and shepherding). He proposes open tribes in which people work together and are interdependent on each other to make a living. This is not a commune, in which people simply live together. It is a paradigm shift from hierarchy to balance and equality. His vision challenged me in two ways. First, he dispelled the notion of seeking voluntary poverty, because people cannot be inspired by a vision of the future in which they are giving up something, as opposed to gaining something. What people would gain by embracing a tribal lifestyle is security for life. There is, of course, still a trade off of letting go of materialistic comforts to some degree, but that is not the focus; it's not the goal. The goal is acheiving security (quite selfishly, but still in a way that benefits the whole tribe). The second way he challenges me with this vision is that he does not move to resist or actively change the larger hierarchical systems but to still work within them, just in a radically different way. So he is calling me to market my skills for the benefit of the tribe. (my problem has always been "what skills?! and where could i possibly employ them?"). I can definitely accept his point of view on the first issue, but not completely on the second. I still feel that we have a responsibility to struggle against the institutions in place, if only to breed more resistance. Other than that, I really like his ideas, or his challenge to be inventive and generate ideas, rather. Although there is still always the challenge of finding tribe members.
Friday, December 16
Derrick Jensen
An author I have yet to mention in my blog is Derrick Jensen. I have read two of his books, The Culture of Make-Believe, and A Language Older than Words. I will not attempt to summarize them. It would be impossible to do so because the books do not progress linearly; there is no simple way to describe what the books are about. I have attempted to do so when telling individual people what I am reading, but that serves them a great injustice. I guess I could at least share what I've said in those instances here. The Culture of Make-Believe explores racism and sexism, or more broadly, hate, and attempts to discover why people hate. The book I just finished (which actually was published before Culture) explores our perception of the world as being silent and the consequences that has regarding how we relate (or fail to relate) to the world. The hard part about reading good books is to realize that I should never believe anything I read, that I can't learn from it until I've experienced what it was trying to show me firsthand.
I have changed, and I have been changed. There is no going back. That is, if I were to ever somehow convert "back" to Christianity, I would be a very different Christian than I ever was. I don't really see that happening though. (So yes, Uncle Dan, in response to your comment, I have concluded that Christianity is false. And I don't say that claiming to know what is True, either. I obviously have only reached a point where I know how I don't want to live, not how I want to live. But that is part of the journey and process of life. It's that process that is constantly interrupted by things like class and homework. I don't mean to complain. I mean to acknowledge so that I can understand where I go with the process from here.) In many ways, this blog has had as its central focus my search for God in my life. It started with the third post I made, and permeated many posts since. In some ways, that stage is over, and in other ways, that search is beginning to manifest itself in a different way that may be hard for some people to understand- how can a search for God continue if I'm saying I don't believe in a God? How can I determine and judge the wrong ways to live my life without having a standard like God to base that judgement from? That's the logical conclusion, right?
I've been taught in my theology classes that a partial provision of evidence of God's existence is the fact that we question and that we fear death. Our questions lead to a never ending search for some ultimate Truth, and if that Truth doen't exist, our lives would be a futile exercise in frustration. We fear death, knowing somehow that it is not right that we should die, that our souls must be immortal. Of course, some Christians are successful in convincing themselves not to fear death because they are absolutely secure in the knowledge of their own salvation. Otherwise, this fear of death manifests an insecurity that should be warded off by stated faith. At any rate, each of these perspectives are ways in which humans pridefully elevate themselves above the rest of the world, the world they assume is theirs to dominate and destroy as they please. The elevation of humanity is an act of isolation. We have become disconnected from the community we were all born into. I'm not talking about the limited, and admittedly quite broken community of humans; the same way Christians perceive their lives to be sustained by the love of God is the way in which our existence is entirely dependent upon the living community which physically surrounds us and which provides us with sustinence, both physical and spiritual. We are dependent upon the ecosystems we are destroying in the same way Christians believe they are dependent upon the God they killed. I'm not sure why I am drawing these parallels, but I see them. Perhaps, with the years of religious education I have received, I can't help but be deeply informed about how the Christian religion explains everything so tidily, but the faith that blindly accompanied that accumulating education fell away very quickly as I was exposed to the ways in which the Christian mythology justifies de facto such life-destroying practices as "subduing" the world to humanity's selfish purposes. I have studied the Catholic Church's social justice teaching, but the fatal error we make is in creating and supporting the hierarchy of dignity in God's Creation. Naming humanity as above the rest of the world and as chosen by God gives humanity the license to carry out all of the destructive realities we are surrounded by: war, rape, racism, ecocide, famine. Speaking of famine, this attitude is clearly demonstrated with the fulfillment of the Catholic mission to "increase and multiply." This is ignorance and arrogance to assume that the the population of humans should be allowed to expand indefinitely, and indeed, exponentially, at the expense of every other species on earth. And so we have famine in Africa and throughout the world. And that's not to say its because of a lack of food. We certainly have created a surplus of food, quite unnaturally (talk about playing God). And as any biology teacher could show you, surpluses of food for a population always lead to expansion in population size to meet the amount of food available (waste not, want not). And if the amount of available food decreases, so too does population size. All of the problems we are futilely trying to solve through social programs, treating only the symtoms, not the causes (poverty, hunger, war, etc.) stem from the fundamental problem that we have arrogantly assumed control over our source of food (agricultural revolution) in order to remove ourselves from dependence on the rest of the community, and causing increasing harm to the community as a result.
Dammit, I went off and started summarizing. That would have to be one long post. I'll try to keep my reflecting personal and local instead of theoretical and abstract (i.e. far away, like my notion of God always was). Well, let's see. The semester is quickly coming to a close. I will be returning to school next January where I shall daily take up the struggle to make what I am being taught (notice the passive) important, relevant, or otherwise applicable to me. I am getting involved with the local chapter of Food not Bombs, which is getting started again after lack of a wide enough interest. I might go dumpster diving tomorrow for the first time (for the hell of it (actually, I only have $3.13 in flex points to use for oncampus dining, so it may save me from having to buy groceries to sustain myself for the next three days)). I'm going to celebrate my friend, Nathan's birthday tomorrow night. I am trying to immerse myself in the struggle of making (and not buying) gifts for people this Christmas season. I am not proud to say that I would be very grateful to receive a pair of boots that fit this season, for riding my bike in tennis shoes in 15 degree weather is not good for blood flowing in my toes. Sara will be leaving shortly after the new year begins to study abroad in Belgium, an event I certainly have mixed feelings about. Although, distance affords each of us the freedom to focus more fully on developing parts of our lives that we may be distracted from now (every decision and action has both a benefit and a cost). I am somewhat looking forward to the courses I will be taking next semester: a writing course, a 300 level course in urban crisis, intro to women's studies (feminism is not man-hating. that would be sexism), a hopefully easy biology course called diversity of life (I am hopeful that I will be learning the complexity of interrelationships in different ecosystems), and finally intro to anthropology. I certainly have an interest in anthropology, but probably not in the way it will be taught (with the use of such labels as "prehistory"). We'll see. That is all for now, as I am tired and have much to do tomorrow (like begin another book by Daniel Quinn).
I have changed, and I have been changed. There is no going back. That is, if I were to ever somehow convert "back" to Christianity, I would be a very different Christian than I ever was. I don't really see that happening though. (So yes, Uncle Dan, in response to your comment, I have concluded that Christianity is false. And I don't say that claiming to know what is True, either. I obviously have only reached a point where I know how I don't want to live, not how I want to live. But that is part of the journey and process of life. It's that process that is constantly interrupted by things like class and homework. I don't mean to complain. I mean to acknowledge so that I can understand where I go with the process from here.) In many ways, this blog has had as its central focus my search for God in my life. It started with the third post I made, and permeated many posts since. In some ways, that stage is over, and in other ways, that search is beginning to manifest itself in a different way that may be hard for some people to understand- how can a search for God continue if I'm saying I don't believe in a God? How can I determine and judge the wrong ways to live my life without having a standard like God to base that judgement from? That's the logical conclusion, right?
I've been taught in my theology classes that a partial provision of evidence of God's existence is the fact that we question and that we fear death. Our questions lead to a never ending search for some ultimate Truth, and if that Truth doen't exist, our lives would be a futile exercise in frustration. We fear death, knowing somehow that it is not right that we should die, that our souls must be immortal. Of course, some Christians are successful in convincing themselves not to fear death because they are absolutely secure in the knowledge of their own salvation. Otherwise, this fear of death manifests an insecurity that should be warded off by stated faith. At any rate, each of these perspectives are ways in which humans pridefully elevate themselves above the rest of the world, the world they assume is theirs to dominate and destroy as they please. The elevation of humanity is an act of isolation. We have become disconnected from the community we were all born into. I'm not talking about the limited, and admittedly quite broken community of humans; the same way Christians perceive their lives to be sustained by the love of God is the way in which our existence is entirely dependent upon the living community which physically surrounds us and which provides us with sustinence, both physical and spiritual. We are dependent upon the ecosystems we are destroying in the same way Christians believe they are dependent upon the God they killed. I'm not sure why I am drawing these parallels, but I see them. Perhaps, with the years of religious education I have received, I can't help but be deeply informed about how the Christian religion explains everything so tidily, but the faith that blindly accompanied that accumulating education fell away very quickly as I was exposed to the ways in which the Christian mythology justifies de facto such life-destroying practices as "subduing" the world to humanity's selfish purposes. I have studied the Catholic Church's social justice teaching, but the fatal error we make is in creating and supporting the hierarchy of dignity in God's Creation. Naming humanity as above the rest of the world and as chosen by God gives humanity the license to carry out all of the destructive realities we are surrounded by: war, rape, racism, ecocide, famine. Speaking of famine, this attitude is clearly demonstrated with the fulfillment of the Catholic mission to "increase and multiply." This is ignorance and arrogance to assume that the the population of humans should be allowed to expand indefinitely, and indeed, exponentially, at the expense of every other species on earth. And so we have famine in Africa and throughout the world. And that's not to say its because of a lack of food. We certainly have created a surplus of food, quite unnaturally (talk about playing God). And as any biology teacher could show you, surpluses of food for a population always lead to expansion in population size to meet the amount of food available (waste not, want not). And if the amount of available food decreases, so too does population size. All of the problems we are futilely trying to solve through social programs, treating only the symtoms, not the causes (poverty, hunger, war, etc.) stem from the fundamental problem that we have arrogantly assumed control over our source of food (agricultural revolution) in order to remove ourselves from dependence on the rest of the community, and causing increasing harm to the community as a result.
Dammit, I went off and started summarizing. That would have to be one long post. I'll try to keep my reflecting personal and local instead of theoretical and abstract (i.e. far away, like my notion of God always was). Well, let's see. The semester is quickly coming to a close. I will be returning to school next January where I shall daily take up the struggle to make what I am being taught (notice the passive) important, relevant, or otherwise applicable to me. I am getting involved with the local chapter of Food not Bombs, which is getting started again after lack of a wide enough interest. I might go dumpster diving tomorrow for the first time (for the hell of it (actually, I only have $3.13 in flex points to use for oncampus dining, so it may save me from having to buy groceries to sustain myself for the next three days)). I'm going to celebrate my friend, Nathan's birthday tomorrow night. I am trying to immerse myself in the struggle of making (and not buying) gifts for people this Christmas season. I am not proud to say that I would be very grateful to receive a pair of boots that fit this season, for riding my bike in tennis shoes in 15 degree weather is not good for blood flowing in my toes. Sara will be leaving shortly after the new year begins to study abroad in Belgium, an event I certainly have mixed feelings about. Although, distance affords each of us the freedom to focus more fully on developing parts of our lives that we may be distracted from now (every decision and action has both a benefit and a cost). I am somewhat looking forward to the courses I will be taking next semester: a writing course, a 300 level course in urban crisis, intro to women's studies (feminism is not man-hating. that would be sexism), a hopefully easy biology course called diversity of life (I am hopeful that I will be learning the complexity of interrelationships in different ecosystems), and finally intro to anthropology. I certainly have an interest in anthropology, but probably not in the way it will be taught (with the use of such labels as "prehistory"). We'll see. That is all for now, as I am tired and have much to do tomorrow (like begin another book by Daniel Quinn).
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