100 things about me

This is based on pages I've seen by the_bone, Ran Prieur, and Taoist Poet.

1. First off, I must acknowledge that "me" has changed a whole lot very recently, and it very well may change a lot more in the future, so this is "100 things about me, now."
2. If anything, that change was a deconstruction of a lot of superficial identifying concepts (i.e. illusions), the kind of concepts that would have made writing something like this a lot easier. So we'll see how much of "me" there is left.
3. I have been described as a miracle baby by both other people and myself. There were prayers, and there was surgery (both before conception and at delivery). I pretty much owe my existence to my parents' persistence and the wonders of modern medicine. On that last point, how ironic.
4. Speaking of modern medicine, I don't like it. Most of it focuses on defeating the illness instead of healing the patient, and this often ends up causing as much or more harm to the patient than the illness would have. I am not able to swallow pills, and I do not plan on learning. Needles (and any other foreign object meant to enter the body) scare me. Anitbiotics and antibacterials will eventually lead to our downfall as a species via epidemic of some superstrain (although the bird flu looks doubtful).
5. I have been vegetarian for two years. It used to be because I watched the video showing the inside of factory farms (Meet your meat). That reason still applies, but it's more that I want to have knowledge of how an animal was treated before I eat it (or perhaps even that I am the one to kill it), not that I don't want to eat meat. I am no longer in denial that humans are adapted to consume meat (note canine teeth, note original human social organization of hunting bands). I simply am not able to gain or afford such knowledge at this point. I am looking at the Paleo diet as a future route (meat good, dairy/grain bad).
6. Before I became vegetarian, I would not go near vegetables. (not even corn, which is a grain...)
7. I grew up in a liberal, Catholic family. Now, I am neither liberal nor Catholic, but both of these elements will always have an effect on me.
8. Politically, I am anti-authoritarian, or perhaps, an advocate for anarchy. I don't like identifying myself by what I am not, but there you go. By the Political Compass (which necessarily places me within the boundaries of the normal politcal spectrum when I am not actually on that spectrum), I have a score of Economic: -6.25, Libertarian/Authoritarian: -8.41. Beyond that limited perspective, I am looking forward to the collapse of civilization, or at the very least, my walking away from it.
9. I doubt that I'll waste the time to vote in a two-party (most probably rigged) election ever again. The better of two evils will still always be evil. And there are way more options to choose from that they don't let you see. Get creative.
10. Religiously, I am both agnostic and gnostic. I am pantheist. I am animist. I'll translate that into english now. I accept there are things impossible to know, yet I acknowledge that I must seek first-hand knowledge and experience of that which is unknowable. I observe that this universe is alive and full of the spirit and fire of life, but at the same time what is most important is to be engaged in this little part of the universe immediately around me that most directly gives me life and that I am most directly giving my life to. The word atheist doesn't do much for me, personally, as it is again saying what I am not instead of what I am, but if I am to be called an atheist, I prefer to be considered a religious atheist.
11. My Jung/Myers-Briggs personality type is IXFP. (that X is borderline between intuitive and sensing). My score for introvertedness has decreased slightly over the years, but it has always been my most dominant trait.
12. I am 6'5 and 1/2" tall and about 160 lbs. My dad is about 6'10" and my mom is 5'1". When I was in the womb, they were afraid I'd be born with my dad's arms and my mom's legs (and would therefore look and walk like an ape). Luckily, that did not happen. Although I'm still pretty funny to look at.
13. Blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin. Let me tell you, the aryan "race" is the weakest (most recessive gene pool) race in the world. In the future, when I am spending a lot more time outside under the sun, I'll be toast. And that's not even considering global warming. Damn northern european genes...
14. I don't wear deodorant. Never have (except for the handful of times throughout my adolescence that my mom told me to), never will. I only ever get smelly when I get really nervous (like when I put all my secrets on a public diary...)
15. I am also playing with the idea of no longer shampooing my hair. Or at the very least, to stop using chemical shampoos. There are alternatives. And leaving some oil in your hair does make styling it (i.e. keeping it out of my eyes) a lot easier.
16. I am also not cutting my hair at the moment, so it's getting pretty shaggy, as hair tends to do when it's not cut. I don't know what the plan is there, but it is complicating my goal to go without shampoo. That's for sure.
17. I do not shave my facial hair, and I don't plan to, as it continues to come in (very, very slowly). This is resulting in a soft, wispy mustache. I am still keeping my few chin hairs trimmed, as a few scraggly hairs would look ridiculous. But eventually, I plan to have a beard. I don't think women should shave their body hair either. But that is a personal preference for maturity.
18. My definition of cleanliness has changed, or perhaps just the priority it holds. Note that I contribute supportive data to the old adage "cleanliness is next to godliness." (although I do have some rather unhygienic Christian friends...)
19. I went through kindergarten twice, by choice. That's a double dose of everything I need to know about life. Booya.
20. I'm convinced that everything after kindergarten is, in fact, redundant and that children should be allowed to explore anything and everything that they are curious about from then on. Well, if I go so far as to say that, I might as well say that kindergarten is itself redundant if the children's parents pay any attention to them at all. Children will learn very well when it is not forced upon them.
21. I went to a poor, Catholic, very racially diverse, inner city grade school. My graduating class was five boys, zero girls. I guess I smelled?
22. I enjoyed being the teacher's pet and generally taking any opportunity to please authority figures. I confused this for a long time with enjoying learning (which I also do). I had no desire to conform to my peers. I was above that. I have always had a tendency to define myself in how I am different from other people.
23. I went to a Jesuit, Catholic high school. It is widely viewed as one of the best high schools in the area, and the student body is duly arrogant and prickish about that fact. I enjoyed my time there, first in the same way that I enjoyed grade school (I really didn't enjoy grade school) and second because I finally made some really cool friends by senior year. Graduation was a bittersweet time.
24. I am now a student at Saint Louis University. I am in college because that is where you go after high school, no questions asked. I started to ask questions once I got here. I might not be returning next year. That is a strong might (leaning towards probable).
25. Both my seventh and eighth grade teachers died mid-second semester during the year that I had them for those respective grades. It was a rather traumatic experience, but it helped to forge bonds between my few classmates and one "permanent substitute" teacher that still exist today.
26. The only other close experiences I have with death are of my grandpa when I was three (I have a few memories of him) and with the death by suicide of a high school classmate.
27. I am an introvert. It is very draining for me to be around a bunch of people, especially if I feel a pressure to talk to them all.
28. That said, I love people. I am a social being. I need regular contact with people with whom I can connect, or I will go insane.
29. I hate the subject of mathematics. I really struggled with it in school after we got to algebra. I did not even think about taking calculus. Geometry was tolerable. Mathematicians amaze me, and the language of math is a useful way to view the world. Perhaps too useful.
30. I love words and reading and writing. Yet doing these activities also drains my energy, even as I enjoy them greatly.
31. I am a dog person, although I am gaining an appreciation for cats. Really, I am an animal person. Also, I am an animal. That helps.
32. My sex is male. I do not feel a need to claim a specific gender. Sexual orientation is a tricky subject, but I generally consider myself mostly hetero.
33. I am a pretty peaceful person, although I no longer consider myself a pacifist.
34. I have lived in the city of St. Lous, Missouri for my whole life.
35. Except for a month spent in Yoro, Honduras, loving on little kids. That was fun.
36. My taste in music is rather eclectic and admittedly limited in scope. My current favorite artist is Ani Difranco, who I would describe as punk-folk. But I also enjoy offbeat bands like They Might Be Giants, Cake, and The Shins. And then I really enjoy the exultant melodies of bands like Sufjan Stevens and Polyphonic Spree and the brilliant, if eerie, sound of Coldplay and Sigur Ros. Jack Johnson and Guster are more mainstream favorites. And I don't know why, but I can't get enough of Radiohead.
37. I am horribly deprived of any experience of live concerts. Well, I've experienced a small amount of small, free live music performances, but nothing of the magnitude that I am talking about here. This shall be remedied.
38. I no longer watch television. I am still horribly addicted to my computer, however.
39. I used to own and use a cell phone and a car. I now have neither within my possession, however I still use the the contraptions on rare occasions. The internet and landlines more than fulfill my communication needs (not to mention actually talking to people face to face). And I have a wonderful 10-speed bike that takes me most places I need to go.
40. I have very tender feet and barely existent arches, but I would like to go barefoot a lot more than I do now.
41. Dark chocolate is way better than that milk crap.
42. I dumpster dove for the first time several weeks ago. It was pretty rad.
43. There are a great many things I would like to learn to do. Cook is a big one.
44. I would also like to learn how to be a midwife.
45. And to knit.
46. And become very skilled at some form of art (instead of just dabbling here and there).
47. Oh yeah, I'm a bit of an artist. But I haven't done much on my own outside of classes for school. So really, my creative potential is untapped, should I develop the motivation.
48. I enjoy dressing in slightly unusual attire often, such as cardigan sweaters or plaid pants or newsboy caps. I also have an affinity for flannel and plaid shirts in general. What can I say? I'm Scottish. There also seems to be the general theme of old man clothes. I don't know how that developed.
49. I have never enjoyed soda because the fizz was too much for me. Luckily this prevented me from developing an addiction to that vile liquid. It has also kept me away from beer for the moment. I'm a big fan of water.
50. I played relatively few video games as a child, and it's even more of a rare occasion now. One less screen...
51. The few games that I have been temporarily addicted to at certain points of my childhood are Zelda and Sim City (both SNS) and The Sims (PC). (so basically, I suck at, and therefore avoided, any game that requires some "skill" with a controller)
52. Even though my time with video games was relatively limited, I didn't spend nearly as much time outside as I should have as a child.
53. I never had a desire to be a boy scout (I've never liked hierarchies or uniforms or behavioral rewards systems, I think). Although, looking back, I would appreciate some of the basic skills learned in boy scouts about camping and hiking. Maybe my brother can teach me...
54. My sport of choice throughout grade school was basketball. I was cut from the team freshman year of high school (and declined the opportunity to pull a Michael Jordan).
55. Being 6'5 and 1/2", I get asked all the time whether I play basketball (second only to the more direct, "how tall are you?"). It's a little annoying.
56. In high school, after being cut from basketball, I randomly decided that I would join the wrestling team. This was good for me for a couple reasons. For the first time in my life, I was actually in shape and even had a six-pack. Also, I became much more comfortable in my own body, via open showers after practice. Overall, it just boosted my self-esteem (although, out of 9 matches, I only won 3, and all of those were "exhibition" matches, not contributing points to the team at all). I promptly quit the following year upon discovering that the Varsity coach is a wrestling nazi. Imagine that you are required to put out as much engery as if you were sprinting, but for a couple hours, and this is on an empty stomach because you are currently "dieting" to squeeze into a lower weight class in time for the big day. It's rather sick.
57. I ran cross-country for three glorious years in high school. Middle of the pack. For 5k, my personal record was 19:09. It was so much energy and work, but I loved it so much. I really miss my obligatory time spent running around a park for two hours each evening. This has been partially replaced by my time commuting by bike. Partially.
58. I'm a pretty sedentary person by habit. I want to break that habit. I travel all sorts of distances in my mind. I want to let my feet in on the action.
59. I have a thing for maps. They are my favorite wall decoration. But especially unusual ones that give different perspectives, or worldviews, one might say. My ideal map is both "upside down" (with South at the top of the map) and equal area projection (so that Greenland isn't twice as big as Australia when the reverse is actually true).
60. I won the geography bee twice in grade school, in sixth and eighth grade. I was good at memorizing the pack of possible questions.
61. I won the spelling bee once, in seventh grade. That was harder because I didn't even attempt to memorize all those words. That was more luck than anything.
62. I don't really like competitions or competitive games all that much. In games with winners and losers, everyone loses at some point. Hacky sack is more my style, but I still don't play it all that often.
63. I enjoy cultivating odd talents, like the tongue-rolling (which is supposedly genetic, actually) or "tongue flipping" (so that your tongue is upside-down in your mouth- I could flip it in one direction without any problem. I had to work at it to get the other direction).
64. I can also touch my tongue to my nose. My secret is being able to also tuck up my upper lip to touch my nose, as well, effectively clearing a path for my tongue to successfully travel the distance to my nose.
65. At one point, I figured out how to recite the alphabet backwards, and now I can do it any time without any problem, even to a modified version of the alphabet song tune.
66. I can also wiggle my ears. I discovered this while playing with my incredibly loose scalp.
67. I have a pretty expressive face. Most of the time, it does most of my talking. This is helpful in social situations, being such an introvert. When I attempt to expell words from my mouth, it is usually a pretty awkward experience for all parties involved.
68. My relationship with the woman with which I am in love blossomed while separated by 80 miles. I find it is much easier for me to open up about my emotions and just about everything else over the internet. I'm getting to be better in person, though.
69. I had only a few friends during my childhood. Caleb lived down the street from me, and Logan went to school with me up to fifth grade. I always thought that both of them were way cooler than me. I was just glad they saw something in me that was worth keeping around.
70. In the later years of grade school and throughout highschool, "my friends" became synonymous with "youth group." I would have been a pretty lonely kid without them. All of my best friends at this point are people I met through youth group.
71. Oddly enough, none of these best friends from youth group would really enjoy the youth group experience anymore. Even though there was a spiritual focus for the group, I think the main thing that kept most people coming was to be amongst friends.
72. I did not ever date anyone until after I graduated from highschool. There was that one day (actually, less than 24 hours) in fifth grade that I had a "girlfriend." But other than that, I was way too religious to be meddling in such earthly affairs.
73. I have been dating Sara since the Memorial Day after graduation (that's almost 9 months). She is pretty awesome.
74. I would have been an only child, but my brother saved me from that. We adopted him when I was 6. When my parents asked me for input on what name we should give him, I wanted to give him my name in its entirety. He got my middle name. We annoyed each other for a long time, but we're getting to a point where we can start to be friends, I think. That's pretty cool.
75. I really enjoy being affectionate with the people I love. Hugs are great.
76. I am often a very awkward person to hug, but with the right person, and if I put my mind to it, I can give a realy good hug.
77. I used to be a huge hippie. I'm still in the process of changing people's minds about me on this point.
78. The fact that I am looking into joining an intentional community doesn't help me in that regard.
79. I am a predominantly visual learner, but I would like to expand the ways in which I depend on my other, more neglected senses, because they are all really wonderful.
80. I used to be a cantor in my grade school choir. Then my voice changed, and I slowly slunk to the back so as to not amplify my squeaky voice. I now enjoy singing on occasion in my baritone voice, but mostly when I'm alone.
81. The month I spent living in Honduras was interesting (for many reasons, but a big one was) because I had not spent any energy towards learning Spanish since grade school. I took seven years of the stuff in grade school, and I could barely understand what was being spoken to me, much less able to speak in return.
82. I took four years of latin in high school. My teachers were able to liven up the subject considerably. I also took Greek my senior year, mostly to have Magistra (who taught latin freshman and junior year) as a teacher one last time.
83. I have had a lot of really good teachers: Ms. Kathleen (kindergarten (twice!)), Ms. Wiagon (3rd grade), Mr. Becker (5th), Mr. Snodderly (his heart didn't really seem to be in teaching the material, but he's a great guy, despite the name, 6th), Sr. Georgia (first part of 7th), Ms. King (the rest of 7th. still a great friend), Magistra (latin and greek), Mr. Mueller (freshman fine art survey, 2D design), Mr. T (latin), Ms. Bugnitz (3D design, watercolor), Miss Walsh (theology), Mr. Baud (physics), Mr. G (catholic social teaching), Mr. Aylwood (modern european history).
84. That list might better be described as teachers that were tolerable. In general, I didn't really retain much that I "learned" in their classes. They're more just cool people outside of the classroom. Of all those teachers, I probably learned and retained the most from my art teachers, Mr. Mueller and Ms. Bugnitz.
85. I have been subjected to very few bad teachers. I am grateful for that.
86. Many more teachers outside the classroom. Some still in the context of school- Robert Boedeker, Fr. Harrison, and classmates like Paul Barker, Pat Ivers, Dave Gregg, and Kevin Hatch (who I all consider great, if now distant, friends). Outside of school, there are of course my closest friends: Sara, Nathan, the rest of the youth group (especially Monica), my parents, my family.
87. Admittedly, I feel that I have learned a whole lot from people I've never met in person but only through their writing- both in books and on the internet. This list includes people like Daniel Quinn, Derrick Jensen, Eckhart Tolle, Ran Prieur, Jason Godesky (and the rest of the Anthropik tribe), Skald from Hobopoet, and friendships that have started online, such as the_bone, Misty, Deb, Toph and Devin. (this list is composed of people who have all entered my life rather recently, so my overall perspective is skewed a bit in their favor)
88. I have broken one bone, my thumb. That was in kindergarten (can't remember which go-round). I also had asthma for a short time during my childhood. My achilles heel is still my throat. Whenever I get sick, it usually concentrates in the throat. I'm hoping that my immune system improves as I become less malnurished (i.e. wane myself from the typical american (vegetarian) diet).
89. I am most productive late in the day, so I like to stay up late. But I crash (hard) the next few days whenever I do. I probably averaged 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep a night throughout high school. It's now about 7, but I'd like it to be higher (as evidenced on any day that I don't have anything scheduled early). Perhaps when I am living without electricity, I will finally settle down into a natural rhythm with the sun.
90. I enjoy moments when I am acutely aware of the potential dangers of the activities I am engaged in (such as commuting by bike or climbing a tree) because I am (and I feel most of us are) blind to the risks and dangers of my activities most of the time (e.g. riding in a car (on so many levels), eating fast food (both from restaraunts and the microwave), using other various technologies such as cell phones, consuming chemicals (in everything) and GMOs, to name a few).
91. I love to eat all kinds of fruit. Oranges are my favorite, but I also appreciate a good apple, banana, pineapple, strawberry, cranberry, raspberry, blueberry, cherry, melon, peach, or tomato.
92. From my most recent experience with meat (over a year ago, in Honduras), I can also say that I love the taste of rotisserie chicken.
93. My breakfast and lunch is very regular at this point- some vitamin "enriched" cereal and soymilk for breakfast and a huge peanut butter sandwich for lunch. I am currently addicted to peanut butter. Seriously.
94. I haven't worn any underwear for over a year. Before I made that change, I wore whitie tighties all the time. It was as dramatic of a change as with vegetables when I became vegetarian. My balls are still thanking me.
95. In theory, at least, I am a nudist. I have grown to a point where I have no shame about the appearance of my body, as odd looking as it is. I now only wear clothing for warmth and to not freak out squares.
96. I enjoy freaking out squares in other ways from time to time, however.
97. Even though I have a hard time with communication in general, I really do enjoy letting people in on what's going on in my head.
98. As much as I hate "the machine," whereas some people get frustrated by long lines and traffic jams, I often take advantage of the "dead time" as a great opportunity to more fully be present to the moment (i.e. meditate, sorta). To be aware of the gift of your existence is a great joy. What petty troubles could you have? It all pales in comparison to the beauty of the life of this universe.
99. That said, a lot of people in this current reality have it pretty shitty. For the longest time, I felt it was my responsibility to make it not-so-shitty for people. Then I started to see just how widespread (and deep) the metaphorical shit went. It now seems to me that treating the symptoms of these problems is a rather futile angle to come from. Obviously, in this dichotomy, if I'm not treating the symptoms, I'm treating the root causes. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to do that, but it's looking like the best way to do that is to just walk away. All of the systems perpetuating the distribution of the shit can only exist so long as we keep participating within them, so it is imperative to simply stop that participation as much as possible. And perhaps my example will lead other people to choose to do similar things themselves. That is what I'm attempting to do right now- learn from the examples of other people who are walking away.
100. I agree with Ran (his #11)- it is much easier for me to walk away, disillusioned by what civilizaiton offers as goods, coming from a white, male, and (from a global perspective) elite background. The Joneses are dysfunctional. Richard Cory commited suicide. The goods that civilization offer are fool's gold- illusory prosperity.
101. So much of civilization acts to isolate people from each other, both phsyically and mentally. Individualism is a curse that prevents people from experiencing happiness. All of my meaning and purpose in life is in connections with other people and things. The closest thing to a goal that this anti-progressivist could have is to build up a tribe of people that are completely interdependent with each other and their environment.
102. Endings (such as death) don't scare me nearly as much as they used to.
103. Neither do illusions like boundaries. Spilling over and being messy and other manifestations of spontneity are the spice of life. Wow, 103. That's how old my great grandma was when she died. This was fun.