Wednesday, May 10

On covering my ass

It might just be because rebuttals have slowed down lately that I feel inclined to address this subject, but basically, I find myself covering my ass way too much in my writing. So to address this concern, I am just going to say what I mean without any attention paid to how or who it might offend. So, a list (some of these I have said, but very anxiously. Things I have not said before will be marked with an asterisk):

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  • I do not believe in a god
  • I do not value chastity or purity (what I do value is honesty and trust - in one word, integrity)*
  • I am not ashamed of nudity
  • Not only the government, but this entire culture, called civilization, needs to end, and will indeed crumble under its own weight soon
  • I like to use "cuss" words like fuck and shit
  • I am dropping out of school
  • Everyone in this global culture is a fucking drone and their lives suck. When people can't acknowledge it, they're just too numb, dissociatied, and drugged up on affluence or entertainment or religion or pot or booze to notice. Anyone who is not numb to the reality of this culture is, by default, depressed or otherwise mentally ill.*
  • I happen to enjoy beer myself (that's not my drug though. Entertainment and receiving approval are my drugs of choice. I've only enjoyed beer in moderation so far).*
  • I can't get mad anymore when people try to escape this reality through vices like cigarettes or other drugs or anything else. I try to escape all the time too. It's part of surviving. I just wish (as I do for myself) that they would work to actually escape from this system, drop out, and begin to build a world that we can actually live in. That's certainly what I want to do with my life. I'm tired of choosing between suffering through bullshit or being numb.*

I guess I do allow myself to say most things, but I so often end up covering my ass later (even immediately following a statement sometimes). I'm just tired of it. I don't like confrontation, but almost everything I am involved in now is countercultural. That's probably why my method for resolution to all of the problems I see involve walking away instead of fighting against. I don't like covering my ass, and I want to stop doing so as much as possible in the future.

(*restraining...to...not...cover...ass...aahhhh!*)


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3 comments:

  1. Sara5/10/2006 10:56 PM

    I surprise the people who know me by being so darn contrary, but nonconfrontational at the same time.

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  2. Misty5/19/2006 7:15 AM

    Your last statement about being tired of choosing between suffering and being numb really struck me. It's been so well indoctrinated into our society that I hardly even realized that was the choice I was making anymore.

    Particularly when my life gets out of control and beyond what I can measurably handle, numbness is my chosen approach and while that sucks in a "hiding from myself" sort of way, I'm trying not to beat myself up over the overusage of my invisibility cloak.

    If only we could all be reminded of our innate tenacity. If only we could be remember that elementally, we are more capable than this and that our options to change our world are far more limitless than we've been forcefed to believe they are...If only the whole world had access to your words daily :) *mental note to take out a 'Tom Campbell' billboard*

    I know that you're probably getting a lot of flack from people about dropping out of school but I must say with only the smallest degree of trepidation that I understand and encourage what others might feel is a shame. Establishments like that have a tendency to send you back into the world a shadow of the progressive, brilliant, passionate human you were when you started. And before you all start piping in about how a degree can only help in your life's goals, I offer that it can also hurt in ways that are inestimable.

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  3. Esoteric Notes6/18/2006 2:17 PM

    Here's a pertinent quote from Anne Wilson Schaef, author of When Society Becomes an Addict.

    "The best-adjusted person in our society is the person who is not dead and not alive, just numb, a zombie. When you are dead you're not able to do the work of the society. When you are fully alive you are constantly saying "No" to many processes of society, the racism, the polluted environment, the nuclear threat, [etc].

    Thus it is in the interests of our society to promote those things that take the edge off, keep us busy with our fixes, and keep us slightly numbed out and zombie-like. In this way our modern consumer society itself functions as an addict."

    Our addictions serve to numb us to what is, to help us avoid our own experience, and society encourages these addictions.

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