Growing up

I've been realizing recently how much I am affected by my environment. It has shaped my personality, my conscience, and on a more short term basis, my mood. I was thinking about this because of my coworkers, actually. They all smoke. All of them. Every break. I obviously have no appreciation for the art of slowly killing yourself, but I've still grown more understanding of smokers. It is probably what they all grew up with. Parents, like it or not, have a big part in forming who you are. If they did something throughout your entire childhood, you are probably more likely to do it as well. You still have a choice, of course. And I would love to see them all stop smoking. But I can't blame them too much.

I'm just very thankful for my parents. Okay, well first off, they don't smoke. But they just love me so much. There's a reason why I'm so well adjusted (mostly. some might protest): I grew up knowing that I am loved. I've also realized that they are the original source, or foundation, for my liberal political views. I've obviously grown to become post-liberal, but it was my parents that pushed me in the right direction. I remember being conservative before I even knew what the word meant. I think kids probably usually are. It probably seems safer. Nothing ever changes. Unfortunately, half the population never grows out of it. But I remember wanting Bush Sr. to have a second term. Just because he was already president (I was 5). I remember asking my parents who won the Vietnam war. They told me that no one won, (I asked if they tied. I was probably about 11), that there are no winners in war. I've grown up thinking that everyone did community service. Everyone I knew did. At the beginning, my parents even only let me watch channel 9 (pbs). And now I could only wish that that was the only channel out there. They raised me in the Catholic church and in a community in which I found some of my best friends.

I am blessed that I was raised by these people (along with everyone else in my family and community). Thank you, mom and dad.


I feel so grown up. I've got a full time job. I have graduated from high school. I've voted twice (with unhappy results). I'm even "in a relationship" with a woman. (with happy results) I need to do some serious playing, or I'm going to grow old, as well as up. Don't want that to happen.

That's another thing I've been thinking about. Growing old sucks. All the aches and pains and general falling apart. Right now I can go to bed at midnight, wake up at 7:30, rush to work, do backbreaking labor all day, go out and have fun with friends in the evening, and do this over and over again. I need to do my best to age gracefully. Take care of my body. I think I will be able to appreciate the changing seasons to come in my life. It will be a chance to look at the world from a different perspective. Hopefully, I'll be wiser. And not too bitter. But I will enjoy my youth while it is here. This is not the height of my life (that doesn't even come in this life), it's only the beginning.