As I've been reflecting, another thing I took away from watching Fight Club is a reiteration of an idea I wrote about last spring during track: that I can only improve myself so much on my own and I have to let God work in me without my interference. The anti-globalization movement that develops during the movie has the aura of the early Christian Church in that the people involved are completely dedicated and empowered as though the Holy Spirit is working within them. That's as far as the comparison goes between Fight Club and the early Christian Church. Two different themes in the movie that lead to this dynamic movement are letting go of control (which in the movie led to a "near-life experience" (as opposed to near-death)) and the favoring of self-destruction over self-improvement. I am repulsed by the movie's idea of self-destruction (basically all types of violence brought upon one's person by choice), but this may be translated to the more Christian ideal of dying to one's own wants and needs, rejecting the material things (just as in the movie) in order to be free to follow and imitate Jesus. So I was just thinking about all of the self-improvement that I talk about and try to do, especially as discussed in this blog. The movie says that self-improvement is just masturbation. And I would agree with that statement if anything I do is not fully directed to pleasing God and not myself. I need to let go of control of my life, deconstructing those aspects of my life that I hold onto for my own sense of control and security and pleasure so that God may be free to move within me and work through me to affect this world as God wills it. This is yet another call to change the attitudes with which I am motivated in order to be selfless in my attempts at self transformation/world transformation. I hope this results in less talking about it (as in this blog) and more praying. Less lip-service, more action.
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