Friday, March 25
Messy rituals
Today was Holy Thursday, so starting holy week. My holy week is very busy, because all of the masses are unique, and I am actively involved in making them that way. Well, my only job today was serving actually. Anyway, what makes Holy Thursday unique is the washing of the feet, dancing (at my parish), blessing of ministers, and benediction. So serving was actually a bigger job than usual. I like my rituals messy, so this is a good liturgy for me. Washing feet is messy. Full submersion baptisms are messy (although I don't think we're having any this year (and that would be saturday, anyway)). I don't like how clean the ritual of communion is. It is so standardized and institutionalized. We used to have parishoners actually bake unleavened bread for mass (my mom and I made the bread the night before my first communion), but the hierarchy of the church swooped in and forced us to stop so that everyone everywhere is doing exactly the same thing, as if creativity and individual expression of spirituality is a sin. And then more recently, someone also told us we had to buy gold communion vessels, instead of using our glass/crystal (flashback to Indiana Jones and the search for the Holy Grail- didn't the fancier one lead to death?). And then tonight, with there being liturgical dance, I saw some visitor laughing at it, looking astonished. He actually started off mocking it, and then just stared. Of all the things to make fun of about a Catholic mass, he picks the only ounce of uniqueness. Of course, that's why he was mocking it. What should be ridiculed are lifeless ceremonies that are void of conscious participation by the majority because their repetitiveness lulls people to just follow along without thinking. These are blanket statements I shouldn't be making because I can only knowingly apply them to myself. I did enjoy benediction/adoration because it afforded me the opportunity to attempt meditating, with some success. Meditation is obviously very close to prayer, if not synonymous, but I use that word because of the mindset that comes with it for me. The mindset I assume attempting to pray will inevitably lead to much wandering of the mind, whereas meditation is focused on clearing the mind, centering one's being in God. Just helpful terminology for me. The idea of prayer, unfortunately, is cliched for me at the moment. Admittedly, as I write this, I feel moved to prayer, which I'll take as the opportunity it is.
Tuesday, March 22
My precious internets
I finally switched to Mozilla's Firefox. I attempted to do so several times but promptly fell back into my IE ways , feeling attached to my Google toolbar (which is not yet compatible with firefox). But with a little exploring, I found my precious bar (not the official version) and so much more. It is so customizable. I'm so happy.
So now I'm free from the monopolistic internet explorer.
Firefox, Google, Blogger, Wikipedia: view, search, write, learn. It's all right there, the best of the internet, as I have experienced thus far. And all are free and/or open source. I'm still learning all I can do with Firefox. Google: where do I start? I already mentioned the toolbar. Then there's Google desktop, in which the contents of your hard drive become easily searchable, including instant message conversations. And Picasa2, which allows you to organize and manipulate your digital pictures so easily (including uploading them to blogger with Hello). And my wonderful gmail. And of course, blogger is part of Google now. There's also the photoblog I just started, but now that I think about it, it's rather redundant, since I could just start a photoblog with Blogger. In fact, I think I will. Wikipedia is a really rad and idealistic concept that has actually worked. Most of the time, I actually use Answers, which uses Wikipedia content in its search results, when I want to learn about something.
Obviously, all of this is still done with a Windows computer. It's so ingrained in my habits by now. However, I've used macs at school all the time. Maybe I'll make the switch eventually. We shall see. Of course, none of this matters to you. But I told you anyway.
And now I have created a photoblog with Blogger. I put more photos on this one (at least one of every kid at the center), so go see it. Only the first ten pictures are on the main page, so you'll have to click on the March archive to see 'em all. I've since realized that the benefit of buzznet is the organization allowed, but that's ok.
So now I'm free from the monopolistic internet explorer.
Firefox, Google, Blogger, Wikipedia: view, search, write, learn. It's all right there, the best of the internet, as I have experienced thus far. And all are free and/or open source. I'm still learning all I can do with Firefox. Google: where do I start? I already mentioned the toolbar. Then there's Google desktop, in which the contents of your hard drive become easily searchable, including instant message conversations. And Picasa2, which allows you to organize and manipulate your digital pictures so easily (including uploading them to blogger with Hello). And my wonderful gmail. And of course, blogger is part of Google now. There's also the photoblog I just started, but now that I think about it, it's rather redundant, since I could just start a photoblog with Blogger. In fact, I think I will. Wikipedia is a really rad and idealistic concept that has actually worked. Most of the time, I actually use Answers, which uses Wikipedia content in its search results, when I want to learn about something.
Obviously, all of this is still done with a Windows computer. It's so ingrained in my habits by now. However, I've used macs at school all the time. Maybe I'll make the switch eventually. We shall see. Of course, none of this matters to you. But I told you anyway.
And now I have created a photoblog with Blogger. I put more photos on this one (at least one of every kid at the center), so go see it. Only the first ten pictures are on the main page, so you'll have to click on the March archive to see 'em all. I've since realized that the benefit of buzznet is the organization allowed, but that's ok.
Saturday, March 19
Learning to pray
I have conflict within me. And most of it relates to matters of religion. By this point, I am firmly of the belief that Catholicism or even Christianity is not the religion of absolute truth. Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, and probably a lot of other smaller ones that I'm forgetting- these are all viable options in one's personal path towards truth. Or is religion just the opium of the masses- blinding and appeasing everyone to distract them from their suffering? Religion, I read somewhere, is not what we do for God, but a celebration of what God has done for us. Who is God? Supreme being. All good. All loving. Omnipotent. Omnipresent. In my limited reasoning mind, I resort to encasing God into something with human properties- Jesus, only older. But being omnipresent, God is within me. There isn't an old man within me, even a spirit of an old man. But God is within me. In reading Power of Now, God is equated with the reality of beingness- what is found in the present moment. If we only lived there, that's already heaven. "The reality of beingness" is a much more vague picture of God to try to hold on to, but it might be more accurate. Think about it- God's name is I am who am. I suppose my trouble is conceiving something so vague as supreme being- an entity who willed the existence of the universe, who willed my existence. I say that I am a child of God. Thinking about that, I suppose it refers to God creating me and my efforts to do God's will. God's will- now how do I know what that is? I've always had difficulty with prayer. Holding a coversation with God, as I have always tried to do, ends up being as draining as any conversation is for this introvert. I've noticed that my level of commitment to a conversation is largely dependent upon the other person. If they are dynamic and funny, I will do my best to keep up. If they are as quiet as I am, the conversation will proceed slowly and disjointedly. Now apply that general rule to the Being that is not even there in physical form to converse but rather communicates with you in the slightest way, in the whisper of the breeze or the rustle of the grass. It feels like the epitome of one-sided conversations (anyone who has talked with me knows what those are like, but I'm getting better, slowly). To be completely honest, most of the time when I pray, I feel like I'm talking to myself. And consequently, I don't spend much time doing it. What is the purpose of prayer? To petition, praise, thank, and ask forgiveness (thanks grade school religion class). I don't think I really understand petitioning God. Like asking for blessing. People who have recovered from illness do say that prayer helped heal them, but I don't understand why God needs the encouragement. I suppose the positive energy of community building that results from the pray has an influence. I think my problem is that I see prayer as an obligation to do at the end of my day instead of taking the opportunities to prayer throughout the day when I actually have praise and thanks for God. I don't know what to think about the sacraments. I still believe they are useful, and therefore still use them, but following the idea that the Catholic Church is not the only source of truth, the Sacraments are not necessarily the main source of grace. I find genuine (ie, personally created) rituals much more meaningful. That's the thing- there are an infinite number of ways to pray. I'm severely limiting my options. Meditation- a direct gateway to living in the moment- is an attractive option at the moment. Buddhism in particular is appearing to me to lead me to knowledge of truth. Nirvana is completely separating from self to rejoin in the oneness of being. If that is not the same as the heaven I've been trying to picture, I don't know what is.
To say that I believe in God is a pretty empty statement. The majority of people who make that statement don't back it up with any action (beyond the superficial). The challenge is to move from belief (mind) to knowing (soul). It seems to me that you can be taught an idea, but you won't know it, it won't be real to you, until you experience it, try it, take action. That's my meditating through action.
My action this week has been to transport primarily by bicycle. The weather is finally warm enough. I have to learn to deal with rain soon, though. It has been a wonderful experience so far.
To say that I believe in God is a pretty empty statement. The majority of people who make that statement don't back it up with any action (beyond the superficial). The challenge is to move from belief (mind) to knowing (soul). It seems to me that you can be taught an idea, but you won't know it, it won't be real to you, until you experience it, try it, take action. That's my meditating through action.
My action this week has been to transport primarily by bicycle. The weather is finally warm enough. I have to learn to deal with rain soon, though. It has been a wonderful experience so far.
Now
I have, in the past, waited until finishing a book to write about it. But why put off to the future something I can do now?
And that's the point. Or the result of the point.
The book is The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. I believe I briefly mentioned it in my last rambling post. I also talked about my dislike of time a while back, but I was a little fuzzy in my reasons for it- what I've read so far explains my own opinions to myself very nicely. Basically, time is the source of all unhappiness- as manifested in living in the past or future (through regret et al. and anxiety et al., respectively) instead of the present. And even if your living in the past or future is not characterized negatively, you're still missing the now, when your life actually happens. Any problems that you may be worrying about (that is, to be focused on the future) are suffering that you create for yourself. There are no problems, only situations that you deal with now, accepting them and then addressing them if necessary (if even possible). With the joy and peace that comes with living in the moment, violence is not possible- a nice side effect for a pacifist. We identify ourselves largely with labels that we create and maintain (as I have talked about before). We cling to these labels because we associate them with our existence. They are only in existence because of a constant connection to the past. Living in the now threatens the existence of these labels, and therefore, our perceived existence. We cling to our lives, not wanting to die. But if we let those labels go, we'd find that there is no death, except to those labels that are not you. When you live in the moment, anything fake about you must pass away and you are left with the reality of your self, your being.
Just some thoughts that struck me so far. More inevitably to come.
And that's the point. Or the result of the point.
The book is The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. I believe I briefly mentioned it in my last rambling post. I also talked about my dislike of time a while back, but I was a little fuzzy in my reasons for it- what I've read so far explains my own opinions to myself very nicely. Basically, time is the source of all unhappiness- as manifested in living in the past or future (through regret et al. and anxiety et al., respectively) instead of the present. And even if your living in the past or future is not characterized negatively, you're still missing the now, when your life actually happens. Any problems that you may be worrying about (that is, to be focused on the future) are suffering that you create for yourself. There are no problems, only situations that you deal with now, accepting them and then addressing them if necessary (if even possible). With the joy and peace that comes with living in the moment, violence is not possible- a nice side effect for a pacifist. We identify ourselves largely with labels that we create and maintain (as I have talked about before). We cling to these labels because we associate them with our existence. They are only in existence because of a constant connection to the past. Living in the now threatens the existence of these labels, and therefore, our perceived existence. We cling to our lives, not wanting to die. But if we let those labels go, we'd find that there is no death, except to those labels that are not you. When you live in the moment, anything fake about you must pass away and you are left with the reality of your self, your being.
Just some thoughts that struck me so far. More inevitably to come.
Sunday, March 13
Meditate through action
I find it interesting that languages intrigue me so much when they are the cause of so much division- from other people and from the original thoughts you were trying to express. Language is a defective tool of communication. Body language is clearer. But you can never perfectly know what a person is trying to tell you.
The ideas I talk about- anarchism, primitivism- I haven't put them into practice in any substantial way. My life has remained largely unaffected by my discussion of these ideas. I have formed different prejudices towards the targets of these ideas (government, civilization), and supposedly my prejudices have some influence on my actions. But talking about these ideas has been mostly futile. I want so much to be an idealist. But to be an idealist is to constantly strive for the unattainable. Which I suppose is a worthy cause. In that striving, progression would be made. Change. How much is my life changing from week to week? Sometimes I do make a change for the better. And sometimes I fall back into old patterns after a while. What's to stop me? It takes a lot of energy to be constantly working to change for the better. If I stop making an effort after having achieved some sort of progress, that stagnancy degrades into recession. Obviously, I cannot possibly work for progress to infinity by my own strength. Where is the hope? The pursuit of perfection does not have to be an all or nothing deal. I am a finite being that can exert a finite amount of energy. God, an infinite being, forgives that. I'm not going to say that all I have to do is rely on God and everything will be fine and I'll mysteriously have the energy to be perfect. Those are words that I tell myself. I don't really know what they mean or what results from them. I don't know how to fully rely on God. I do know that for the majority of the time, I shut myself off from God. I'm working on changing my perception of God- God is not a man in the sky. Of course, I have acknowledged this fact for most of my life, but I continue to perceive God as somehow finite and still "over there," maybe not up in the sky, but not right next to me, not within me. So when I say that I want to not shut myself off from God, that requires a prerequisite change in my perception of God. Which is a largely futile exercise, as my mind cannot fully grasp any infinite concept. That's why Jesus is handy. He chose to become human, finite, conceivable. And I am able to come to know the Father through him because of that.
As I have made some of the conceptual progress I spoke of above, I gained friendships with individuals who look less than favorably on religion and God in general. Obviously, friends have a big influence on how I think, so I have been led to consider whether faith is a suspension of reason. This assumes that reason is the ultimate source of truth. There is evidence for God on the level of reason (Pascal's wager and such), but if reason is the end of your use of your mind, you're missing a lot. "I think, therefore I am" is not as wise a statement as it sounds. Consider consciousness. Most of the time, you are speaking thoughts to your self internally, but there are also times (however few) that your mind is silent, yet you are still conscious. You are living in the moment, not concerned with the past or future, but simply happy to be. Imagine (I realize this will undoubtedly induce thoughts) this state as eternal. That is my image of heaven.
Part of the system that anarchism aims to reject is this enslavement to thought. (These thoughts have been produced as a result of starting to read The Power of Now) Anarchists tend to be rather philosophical in nature, philosophy being various systems of thoughts. And therefore, they are still subject to the systems they want to emancipate themselves from. That emancipation can only truly occur through the freedom found in the present moment, connectedness, oneness, God. And again, the word God is misleading, not conveying the spiritual beingness that is. Words obviously fail, so I'll stop trying. Just a few notes to battle my own misperceptions of God. God does not have a body that looks like a human. Our souls are made in the image and likeness of God, not our bodies. God is not male or female, as I have already discussed (yet the pronoun problem persists- henceforth, the discontinuation of use of pronouns with God). However, Jesus was human and male and male pronouns are of course relevant. My perception and acceptance of the Trinity is adjusting. To what, I am still discovering. The Son does not sit at the right hand of the Father. God entered the world of time and space for a period, as Jesus, and when Jesus left the world, he again became one with God. The ideas of God the father and God the son are just used so that we can attempt to understand the kind of relationship God has with God. God loves God. That love is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God. God is love. All of these words are refering to the same being. Why must we make a fuss with dividing that being up, distracting us from the simple, plain truth that God created us out of love, wanting us to choose to love God in return and each other as a result?
The being that is God is absolute truth, love, goodness. I have had questions about curses and blessings. Obviously, God does not will bad things to happen to people. Misfortune is indirect result of sin (ie Original Sin). But if God does not curse, does God bless? And if God blesses, wouldn't the absense of a blessing in some situations be the equivalent of a curse? Perhaps, sin is such that it often prevents God's blessing, which is offered at every opportunity. God would love to bestow the grace of blessing on everyone all the time, but such is only possible within the unity and oneness of love. When bad things happen to good people for no reason, God mourns, made helpless by the rejection of God's love. When blessings and miracles show themselves, it is a result of people choosing to come together in love. This is by no means to say that if you incur some misfortune, it is directly related to some sin you have committed, but it is simply the result of the fallen state of humanity in general. It is hard to accept the senseless deaths of tsunami victims as having no one to blame for it but ourselves. But that we must do. Change can only come from within. It will take a moral effort to accept the truth that Jesus taught. It will take sacrifice- sacrifice of the material things you want to hold on to for comfort. Either way, those material things will pass away eventually. The question is whether I will give them up now in order to love God, freeing myself to live, or hold on to those material things and doom myself to die. Can't serve God and mammon. You can piss away your life by choosing to be distracted by entertainment (not just entertainment though, any distraction or addiction. anything out of moderation probably denies life. that's not saying you have to be perfect. but aim high. christianity is all about aiming for something out of reach and constantly failing- fools for God), but what kind of life will that be?
I don't know what the next step to take is, and that is okay. I know that I need to take it. Action is required. I'm not talking about a hard, puritan work ethic in which all enjoyment is sucked out of life, because that too is a life-denying obsession. Any action should effectively result in greater and greater joy as I continue to move closer and closer to God. In my finiteness, I can never come to know God fully, but such is the state and purpose of life.
A very good place to start is to free oneself from the need to use ineffectual thoughts, living within the moment, a place and time in which you become utterly connected with the world around you, with humanity (another abused concept), with God, making nonviolence and love as necessary as breathing. You are not an individual, closed off from everyone around you; you are connected with everyone and everything. If you accept this, letting go of your own self-centeredness by choice, then you are doing your part to bring the kingdom of God. This is very idealistic language, and I, of course, will fail. But that doesn't make the effort fruitless.
It is strange that I feel so satisfied, having written this, as if I actually clearly communicated what I wanted to. That was a whole lot of lofty language with very little practicality within it. I have no experiential knowledge that living in the moment leads to a connectedness with the world. Maybe this needed to be said to spur me on to action, but feeling satisfied with what I've written won't spur me on very much. Who's to decide what progress towards perfection actually entails? I have ideas that I have gathered, but again, that is a subjective interpretation of the truth. Objective truth does exist. I read something today, justifying relativism, asking how you can be against something that is good for everyone. But as humans, we often obviously do not choose what is good for us. How do we find that truth (which is God)?
I need to go meditate for a while. But this writing is a form of meditating. I need to meditate through action- not making logical sense, but it somehow succeeds to mean what I wanted to say.
The ideas I talk about- anarchism, primitivism- I haven't put them into practice in any substantial way. My life has remained largely unaffected by my discussion of these ideas. I have formed different prejudices towards the targets of these ideas (government, civilization), and supposedly my prejudices have some influence on my actions. But talking about these ideas has been mostly futile. I want so much to be an idealist. But to be an idealist is to constantly strive for the unattainable. Which I suppose is a worthy cause. In that striving, progression would be made. Change. How much is my life changing from week to week? Sometimes I do make a change for the better. And sometimes I fall back into old patterns after a while. What's to stop me? It takes a lot of energy to be constantly working to change for the better. If I stop making an effort after having achieved some sort of progress, that stagnancy degrades into recession. Obviously, I cannot possibly work for progress to infinity by my own strength. Where is the hope? The pursuit of perfection does not have to be an all or nothing deal. I am a finite being that can exert a finite amount of energy. God, an infinite being, forgives that. I'm not going to say that all I have to do is rely on God and everything will be fine and I'll mysteriously have the energy to be perfect. Those are words that I tell myself. I don't really know what they mean or what results from them. I don't know how to fully rely on God. I do know that for the majority of the time, I shut myself off from God. I'm working on changing my perception of God- God is not a man in the sky. Of course, I have acknowledged this fact for most of my life, but I continue to perceive God as somehow finite and still "over there," maybe not up in the sky, but not right next to me, not within me. So when I say that I want to not shut myself off from God, that requires a prerequisite change in my perception of God. Which is a largely futile exercise, as my mind cannot fully grasp any infinite concept. That's why Jesus is handy. He chose to become human, finite, conceivable. And I am able to come to know the Father through him because of that.
As I have made some of the conceptual progress I spoke of above, I gained friendships with individuals who look less than favorably on religion and God in general. Obviously, friends have a big influence on how I think, so I have been led to consider whether faith is a suspension of reason. This assumes that reason is the ultimate source of truth. There is evidence for God on the level of reason (Pascal's wager and such), but if reason is the end of your use of your mind, you're missing a lot. "I think, therefore I am" is not as wise a statement as it sounds. Consider consciousness. Most of the time, you are speaking thoughts to your self internally, but there are also times (however few) that your mind is silent, yet you are still conscious. You are living in the moment, not concerned with the past or future, but simply happy to be. Imagine (I realize this will undoubtedly induce thoughts) this state as eternal. That is my image of heaven.
Part of the system that anarchism aims to reject is this enslavement to thought. (These thoughts have been produced as a result of starting to read The Power of Now) Anarchists tend to be rather philosophical in nature, philosophy being various systems of thoughts. And therefore, they are still subject to the systems they want to emancipate themselves from. That emancipation can only truly occur through the freedom found in the present moment, connectedness, oneness, God. And again, the word God is misleading, not conveying the spiritual beingness that is. Words obviously fail, so I'll stop trying. Just a few notes to battle my own misperceptions of God. God does not have a body that looks like a human. Our souls are made in the image and likeness of God, not our bodies. God is not male or female, as I have already discussed (yet the pronoun problem persists- henceforth, the discontinuation of use of pronouns with God). However, Jesus was human and male and male pronouns are of course relevant. My perception and acceptance of the Trinity is adjusting. To what, I am still discovering. The Son does not sit at the right hand of the Father. God entered the world of time and space for a period, as Jesus, and when Jesus left the world, he again became one with God. The ideas of God the father and God the son are just used so that we can attempt to understand the kind of relationship God has with God. God loves God. That love is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God. God is love. All of these words are refering to the same being. Why must we make a fuss with dividing that being up, distracting us from the simple, plain truth that God created us out of love, wanting us to choose to love God in return and each other as a result?
The being that is God is absolute truth, love, goodness. I have had questions about curses and blessings. Obviously, God does not will bad things to happen to people. Misfortune is indirect result of sin (ie Original Sin). But if God does not curse, does God bless? And if God blesses, wouldn't the absense of a blessing in some situations be the equivalent of a curse? Perhaps, sin is such that it often prevents God's blessing, which is offered at every opportunity. God would love to bestow the grace of blessing on everyone all the time, but such is only possible within the unity and oneness of love. When bad things happen to good people for no reason, God mourns, made helpless by the rejection of God's love. When blessings and miracles show themselves, it is a result of people choosing to come together in love. This is by no means to say that if you incur some misfortune, it is directly related to some sin you have committed, but it is simply the result of the fallen state of humanity in general. It is hard to accept the senseless deaths of tsunami victims as having no one to blame for it but ourselves. But that we must do. Change can only come from within. It will take a moral effort to accept the truth that Jesus taught. It will take sacrifice- sacrifice of the material things you want to hold on to for comfort. Either way, those material things will pass away eventually. The question is whether I will give them up now in order to love God, freeing myself to live, or hold on to those material things and doom myself to die. Can't serve God and mammon. You can piss away your life by choosing to be distracted by entertainment (not just entertainment though, any distraction or addiction. anything out of moderation probably denies life. that's not saying you have to be perfect. but aim high. christianity is all about aiming for something out of reach and constantly failing- fools for God), but what kind of life will that be?
I don't know what the next step to take is, and that is okay. I know that I need to take it. Action is required. I'm not talking about a hard, puritan work ethic in which all enjoyment is sucked out of life, because that too is a life-denying obsession. Any action should effectively result in greater and greater joy as I continue to move closer and closer to God. In my finiteness, I can never come to know God fully, but such is the state and purpose of life.
A very good place to start is to free oneself from the need to use ineffectual thoughts, living within the moment, a place and time in which you become utterly connected with the world around you, with humanity (another abused concept), with God, making nonviolence and love as necessary as breathing. You are not an individual, closed off from everyone around you; you are connected with everyone and everything. If you accept this, letting go of your own self-centeredness by choice, then you are doing your part to bring the kingdom of God. This is very idealistic language, and I, of course, will fail. But that doesn't make the effort fruitless.
It is strange that I feel so satisfied, having written this, as if I actually clearly communicated what I wanted to. That was a whole lot of lofty language with very little practicality within it. I have no experiential knowledge that living in the moment leads to a connectedness with the world. Maybe this needed to be said to spur me on to action, but feeling satisfied with what I've written won't spur me on very much. Who's to decide what progress towards perfection actually entails? I have ideas that I have gathered, but again, that is a subjective interpretation of the truth. Objective truth does exist. I read something today, justifying relativism, asking how you can be against something that is good for everyone. But as humans, we often obviously do not choose what is good for us. How do we find that truth (which is God)?
I need to go meditate for a while. But this writing is a form of meditating. I need to meditate through action- not making logical sense, but it somehow succeeds to mean what I wanted to say.
Having a life, world religions, freedom from entertainment
I made the observation friday that I was a very diligent student as a freshman, also observing a gradual decline since then. That is, it is perfectly fine for me to receive a B now. And I've realized that this "decline" is a result of now having a life. There are other things that are equally or more important than school that I want to divide my attention towards. That's what I do when I'm "procrastinating." So it is important to note for myself that when it comes to freshman year of college, I won't magically be diligent again unless my priorities change. Some of my priorities do need adjusting. I would like to be able to get a good full 7 or 8 hours of sleep each night. Unfortunately, that requires going to bed earlier, as waking up any later is not an option. A good portion of that procrastinating is still just wasted time. Like television. And 90% of the internet. So I do want to gain back some of my diligence, as a side effect of cutting out the crap. I do really enjoy having something of a life now, though. (but wasting hours in front of a television or computer is not living)
On a completely different subject, after studying Gandhi's life in theology class, I am very interested in learning more about Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. I am considering studying world religions in particular in college. My prayer life needs some shaking up.
Reverting back to my first topic, I find myself wasting those hours in from of a television or computer screen because it is entertaining. I laugh. To entertain is "to hold the attention of with something amusing or diverting" (dictionary.com). Diverting. Your attention is litterally "held among" some diversion. Imprisoned, if you will. I am enslaved by entertainment. It's a choice I make, so I want it to stop. Laughter is much more meaningful with friends, anyway. And now I'll have more time for them. Isn't this something Buddha taught about, anyway?
On a completely different subject, after studying Gandhi's life in theology class, I am very interested in learning more about Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. I am considering studying world religions in particular in college. My prayer life needs some shaking up.
Reverting back to my first topic, I find myself wasting those hours in from of a television or computer screen because it is entertaining. I laugh. To entertain is "to hold the attention of with something amusing or diverting" (dictionary.com). Diverting. Your attention is litterally "held among" some diversion. Imprisoned, if you will. I am enslaved by entertainment. It's a choice I make, so I want it to stop. Laughter is much more meaningful with friends, anyway. And now I'll have more time for them. Isn't this something Buddha taught about, anyway?
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