College and radical changes to my personal philosophy

I was thinking about college. And all of the things I would like to study. Philosophy, theology, linguistics, fine arts (in that order of importance, right now). Philosophy: because, while I do not intend to enter the seminary, seminarians study philosophy first as a foundation before they study theology, and that makes sense. While I do not feel called to be a priest, I am feeling now that my vocation may parallel that of a priest in many ways: being of service to others (hopefully being able to counsel as well (wisdomous)), celibacy (again, this is what I'm feeling called to right now); so it might be good to follow the same general pattern of a seminarian's education. Linguistics: language is rather fascinating to me, being able to relate with other people. And I'd like to be able to do that with a larger percentage of the world. I took spanish all through grade school, latin all through high school, greek my senior year. I think I've got the romantics covered. So I'm thinking German might be fun. I don't know how easy it'll be to start a whole new language in college (this late in my developmental years), but greek has been good so far. And fine arts is fine arts: another medium to express my self and seek beauty/truth.

Then I'll have the Micah house program on top of all that, hopefully earning a certificate in urban social analysis. Not that I like cities at all. They're the centers of "civilization" (ie absence of the natural world, aka wilderness), but that is where all the people are.

Until I just outlined all that I still need/want to study, I was wondering about the value of a college education. If I were to continue on and become a Catholic Worker, would a college degree really do anything for me? I'm certainly not interested in a degree in order to make more money, so I hope that what I study will have some practical application. I realize philosophy is the antithesis of a practical degree. But that's practical in the sense of "can this degree get me a job?" I'm not interested in a degree getting me a job; I'm interested in studying something that will influence and shape my mind so that I may think better, know more, and combine the two to become wise. (I realize that there is more to wisdom than that, however) I was just beginning to wonder if college was the most efficient way to do that studying. Because it is rather expensive (and by rather I mean outrageously). And I do not enjoy spending money at all. Because money is no longer used by society simply as a means of exchange but as a tool of oppression. I talked a while ago about money doing some good, but the evil that it creates outweighs the good so greatly that I cannot justify continuing to participate in the system. And money is just one of the tools used for oppression.

What I'm getting at, if you haven't yet caught my drift, is that I do not like government. This is a very new and somewhat scary realization for me, but I believe I may just be an anarchist, in the most original sense of the word: no rule. So this is not to say that I want to riot against corporations to financially wound them in the hopes of bringing them down (and the government with them), because as a pacifist, I do see that as rather futile resistance. It would be much more productive to change people's hearts than lash out at physical manifestations of the corporate beast, like the WTO. To me, this parallels the government lashing out at "terrorism" with military violence instead of treating the cause of the terrorists' hatred. I do not yet know how to go about changing people's hearts, but I do know violence is not the answer. The basic concept of rule is bad because it is very violent at its core. This violence is (somewhat) cloaked now but could be more openly seen in the expansionism, c. mid 2nd millennium. Groups of people, divided by man-made constructs such as race, consolidated and vied for power by violent conquest (like what our government is doing in the Middle East, presently).

I have a Marxist flare in me because I do see much of the struggle that has happened throughout history being influenced significantly by money (yet I certainly see that it is not the sole cause, as Marx, as I understand, put forward). This is the evil that money creates: class warfare. I do not want to allow things created by man to separate me from another human. Class (the amount of money I have), race (while important to one's identity as it relates to one's cultural heritage, it is completely abused and overrated in order to create a false superiority), even (or especially is more like it) religion divides people unnecessarily. These, and more that I'm forgetting to name, are all constructs that create civilization. I'm beginning to see the development of civilization as simply the outcome of groups of people consolidating power over others. Through violence. So I believe I am something of a primitivist, as well. By this I mean a return to living as one did before the Industrial Revolution and Agricultural Revolution and also a return to the simplicity and purity of Christianity present immediately after being founded (ie the first few centuries (until Constantine converted)). Actually, I realize that the Church was not simple or pure at all in that time, with everyone having their own opinions and beliefs about Jesus the Christ, but I would take that over a religion funded by the same government that executed Jesus.

Looking at the reality of the world as I now understand it can be depressing and look rather hopeless (such as found in the Matrix movie). But only on the physical plane. On the spiritual plane, hope is alive and well. I wrote a sonnet for my final project in my Shakespeare class this semester. Keep in mind that a sonnet is a highly regulated (meaning that I had to follow rules) way to write, and therefore, pretty hard. And since it was my first time... it's a little rough (I hope I still get a good grade though). So I'll share it with you.

When one’s nation wars without a just cause,
Seeming to be led by a dictator;
When many deny God’s love without pause,
And Creation turns from its Creator;
When selfishness and pride are accepted,
And individualism runs wild;
When values of hon’sty and trust are shed,
Then every relationship may be riled.
With all of the troubles, no peace is found;
Any love or justice is hidden, yet
God’s compassion and mercy still surround,
And faith in action will make evil fret.
So by God’s grace, still I will love the world
With hope of one renewed to be unfurled.