I am officially and ceremonially a graduate. I've answered the same questions so many times. Here are the answers: actually, I feel about the same. I'll be going to SLU. Well, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to study. Philosophy or theology -you know- nothing practical.
There, I said it. Stop asking me.
But it was fun. We had a mass and dinner friday night, which was good. I won a scholarship award unexpectedly. So that's good, I guess. Taking it from the completely false perspective of God as an accountant (counting how many good and bad things I've done and deciding my fate based on the balance), it seems like an award recognizing service kind of cancels it out- heavenwise. Bah, at least I can pay down more of my college debt-to-be! And saturday was the graduation ceremony at Powell (where the symphony plays, for non-Saintlouisans). I felt like a celebrity, with everyone taking our picture and sitting on stage. And sweating. I must say the white tuxs were pretty hot. In more ways than one. Immediately following the ceremony, I had my graduation party. Good food, good music (that I picked out), good people, lots of cash/check shaped envelopes. All around good, really. And finally, immediately following the party, I went to my lock-in. I didn't wake up sunday until 5:20pm. And of course I didn't sleep last night at all either. Which won't be beneficial tonight, having work tomorrow morning at 8am.
Work. ugh. It's really bringin' me down. And it is prostitution, honestly, because I'm selling me for a time to do something I don't especially enjoy and is even harming me. Physically and mentally. More mentally. My poor ears. So much cussing and discussing (which very appropriately has the word "cussing" within it) matters of a licentious nature. I've noticed a change in my behavior after only one week. I was very curt, to say the least, with my mom friday. She said I was acting like a teenager for the first time. "They" say that this summer is the worst for arguments with parents- the summer before college. I hope that doesn't come true.
Nonetheless, I've still noticed a change. Like in my exclamations of disapproval. A common one used to be "shoot." It's already to the point of being "ack" or "uck." Not a short step there to you know where. Cuss words are annoying to me. And not just because they are thrown in every third word with the guys I work with (and they never stop talking). Really, most of the time, the "cuss" word has nothing to do with what you are cussing at. I mean, what does dropping your hammer have to do with excrement? And why is so much attention paid to the breeding of cattle? Or pregnant dogs? Or genitalia in general? I guess it's for the shock value- taking a taboo subject and throwing it into daily conversation to add emphasis. Emphasis duly noted, thanks.
So I may be investing in an iPod shortly to escape from my own little sodom and gommorah. Even though I don't like the idea of headphones (cutting me off from any chance of actual human contact) or the materialistic nature of such a shiny and expensive device.
It really is a complete culture shock, and at this point, I don't know how I'll survive the summer (not that I'll be contracting any STDs from this prostitution. Well. Let's hope not).
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Congrats again Tom! The ceremony was impressive, you looked sharp in that white tux, and I was/am sooo proud of you! The party was awesome too. Who knew so many tasty foods could go with the vegetarian diet?! And the music was very fun. I wished I could have stayed longer and done a little dancing. ;) I hope you had fun.
ReplyDeleteTry not to beat yourself up about getting 'testy' with the 'rents. This is a huge time of transition, the biggest one in your life yet. But it's a phase, and it might be rough navigating through for awhile, but it WILL pass.
And yes, welcome to the REAL world!
Your job is an interesting one, but a good choice I think. Rehabbing homes is just not your typical teen summer job serving ice cream or pizza. It's a job where you will work hard, . . really hard, and you will learn valuable skills. You probably have no idea yet how you might use those skills in the future, but just think of how much you are expanding what you will have to offer to a place like Karen House, or an organization like Habitat, not to mention how much your future wife/children might benefit from your ability to provide a safe and comfortable home. I'd say these are skills you will be glad to have, far more than knowing how to mumble into a headset, "Would you like to super-size that?"
Of course, there is something to be said for developing your ability to provide cheerful customer service when dealing with the general public. But that's where your co-workers come in. Rough-around-the-edges they may be, but these guys are part of the "real world" that you would otherwise be dealing with from across a counter, where they might be asking YOU to explain why the *bleeping* fries are cold!
These guys are your path to learning how to deal with people who are not like you. A path that leads to virtue. (Remember the saying, although I can't remember who said it . . . I love the human race, it's people I can't stand!)
I'm not saying you should accept a situation if it is truly unhealthy for you. If the offense is personal, or abusive in any way toward your person, then by all means you should set your boundaries of what you can take, and consider removing yourself entirely if necessary, or at least mentally by means of that iPod.
But if, on the other hand, when the expletives start flying you are able to offer an interior moment of prayer for your own sanity and protection, and perhaps also for their conversion, then you just might find you have the fortitude to stomach a summer of working side-by-side with people who, for you, might be hard to tolerate. I've certainly experienced co-workers that I have a hard time just tolerating, so I'm only sharing with you some of the interior thoughts and reflections that have helped me in the past. And take heart, not every job will be like this!
But for now, you see, you could be selling yourself out for a paycheck, but it should be MUCH more than that.
First of all, hard work is valuable in and of itself. It's important for us to occupy ourselves with something productive and meaningful, to be disciplined and industrious.
But beond that we go to work to learn, to serve, and to be a witness to Love. You might compare this to your motivation to go to Honduras last January. Think of your co-workers as God's sick children, who don't always smell so nice, and maybe don't smile a whole lot, but who are in dire need your very presence, not because of what you can DO for them, but because of WHO you bring to them. Christ dwells in you! And your witness need not be your words, but more in your ways of interacting with them. Perhaps your honesty about putting in a full day's work will say something about work ethic, or your playfulness/silly side might reveal your inner joy and they will wonder where that comes from.
When you think about it, it's really quite a "mission" . . working in the world.